No, come on Peter.
No you're not supposed to have that.
Come on.
Give that to mummy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh and you've got a pen too!
Oh right.
Come on.
No you be good boy.
No look.
Here you are, look.
Play with your rattle.
There, you play with your rattle.
There!
There, don't you want that?
You play with that.
Be a good boy.
Mummy's just getting your banana ready.
Alright, won't be a minute.
Alright poppet.
Mummy's coming.
There!
Alright?
Come on.
Alright?
Give mum her paper back.
banana?
There.
Yummy yummy yummy.
Yummy yummy yummy.
That nice?
Is that nice?
There, you like banana.
Yeah.
You do.
You like it.
Oh dear.
Nasty.
Mummy get your medicine.
Come on Peter.
Peter!
Come on.
Be a good boy.
Ooh Yeah.
Come on then.
Here you are.
Peter.
Peter!
Come on.
Peter.
I 'll just switch that television off and you might pay some attention.
Come on.
Come on.
Mm yummy!
Is that nice?
That nice?
Yeah.
Come on then, good boy.
Here you are, Peter.
Yes.
I know.
Yes.
Ooh.
Here you are then.
Here you are.
Mm yummy.
Mm.
What are you saying eh?
What are you saying?
Mm?
Their electric bill was sky high.
I didn't.
It was on
Well it might have been the the gas bill because er you know what she's like with the central heating.
Yeah.
Both.
Yeah.
I think he used to pay all the
Yeah, I think he did.
Out of the business.
through the business.
Yeah.
And now, now they've come to realize that he's only on a wage, he's on a bloody good wage and all.
Mm yeah.
Right?
And they have grandad's money.
That buys all the bloody food.
Well it's his pension isn't it?
Yeah.
All he lives on is his personal pension.
What, from the gas board?
Yeah.
That's what he lives on.
And if he ever wants to buy anything
Yeah.
Mm.
So basically I reckon they're gon na be in the shit.
Because er no mum was saying er they should be out enjoying theirselves, not having to stay in paying all this.
Well I mean it's their decision wasn't it?
Yeah.
They
Now they've come to realize what it's like.
Well I know she had to pay her poll tax didn't she?
Down at
Yeah.
Barnet.
Yeah that was a month's wages, nearly.
Well a good part of it anyway.
She can't clear much money.
I reckon she must get home, take home about eighty quid a week or something.
About hundred quid a week.
Yeah well no that's not bad money for a woman
Yeah.
working er what she's doing.
Yeah.
Just started and all.
Not very good wages are they?
No I know.
In there.
Poor wages.
Poor payers I mean.
Yeah.
Oh well they 'll just have to steady down won't they?
And I can see it in a year I I 'll give it, give dad er about eighteen months
Yeah.
and he 'll be wanting to leave Avenue Panels
Yeah.
It 'll come too much.
Then he 'll wan na form a partnership.
Well you're not gon na I don't think, no
No.
No I wouldn't
No.
I 'm happy as I am.
No cos
I 'll have to see what it's like down the road.
If it's got room for expansion which I 'm hoping then, I would say yeah because dad's got a good reputation.
Yeah but what could he do?
I mean what's he gon na be like in a couple of years time?
He might say oh he
Don't know.
But he's not bad at spraying.
He's a good sprayer.
Oh but that's the whole reason he stopped, because he couldn't
That's right.
cope with it.
The only thing the old man could do was spray.
He couldn't every time he undid bolts like and if they were tight, he couldn't do them.
Cos you've got to and he can't use his fingers and if he has to it right?
And ea each knock he used, used to be in agony.
Like if he was hitting something and he accidentally hit his ha his thumb or his finger he used to be in agony for I mean it used to hurt him for the rest of the day.
Mm.
You know?
Mm.
Whereas if I hit me hand you know, okay it hurts but it's gone in five minutes.
If I keep, keep hitting it like I did the other day when my brother was there me thumb and that, oh boy!
I mean it was
Yeah.
swollen.
Yeah.
I remember that.
You showed it me.
Yeah.
That's cos I kept hitting it, bloody.
But I could, I can hack the pain.
Yeah.
And that's the difference you see, it was gone day but dad's is not.
If he'd have kept hitting it like I h I hit mine no way.
Yeah I know.
He's I mean he, he just wouldn't be able to er contribute enough.
I don't think.
He wouldn't be able to you know, okay he'd probably potter about on a restoration job but I mean that's not
They're good payers, restoration jobs.
Well yeah, but I mean it's not providing half the business is it?
Res restoration job you're talking er if you actually work on a vehicle a week, talking five hundred quid a week.
Yeah.
So I mean I I just couldn't
I mean that's two grand a month.
see him being able to do the work.
No but then you've got ta guarantee that you've got restoration jobs.
That's it.
Yeah.
They've got to be guaranteed work like one after the other.
Think they're just gon na have to cut back.
Oh yeah.
They probably will do cos
I mean your mum'd save a lot of money if she found a l job locally where she didn't have to travel.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Go on the bus.
I mean it must, well she must spend ten quid a week on bus fares.
Oh easily.
Easily I'd say.
Yeah.
But she's got all that way to walk.
That's why she ought to learn to drive.
If she drove she'd save money that way.
Okay you've got to fork out insurance and er petrol.
It'd be a lot cheaper.
But in that sense she can use the car on her own.
She can go out shopping.
Well she could take the.
Dad doesn't use it does he?
That's it yeah, the useless bloody thing.
Can you imagine him letting her use it?
He'd have a fit.
You'd love's motor.
His granny Brilliant.
What?
John's granny.
Yeah.
Oh, top of the range weren't it?
Oh!
Did you phone up that garage?
Yeah.
Yeah?
It's er four speed gearbox.
It's got a broken er ignition it's broken in two.
But they imagine that would be er replaced.
Erm du n no what the mileage is like.
Rust's supposed to be not too bad.
Er that's about it really.
Mm.
He didn't know much about it.
The bloke I spoke to.
Really?
Must be a fairly new garage cos I've never heard of them before.
I've never seen them advertised before.
No I haven't.
I du n no.
Er I 'll go and do this stuff and er
You gon na pop down the shop for me then?
Yeah.
Yeah I 'll take
Do you want dumplings?
Yeah, can do.
You've got steak and kidney.
Ugh.
Oh great!
What are you having?
oh no, I just pick out the kidneys.
Do you?
Well give me the kidney then.
Yeah.
You should make some pies out of it or something.
Steak and kidney pie.
Can't you smell it?
Smell it.
Kidney.
Not really.
Thursday used to be a good night in the paper for motors.
Look at it, there's here.
No it's Friday.
Friday night paper
Friday now is it?
yeah, er for cars.
Dad said he's given us er some phone numbers.
Well he hasn't given me them, they're at work.
What for?
People who deal with motors.
Yeah.
So I might get er
What did you tell him what we're after?
Yeah.
What did he say, what do you want one of them for?
No.
Didn't he?
I want a, I want a station waggon but it 'll have to be a Ford, personally.
Mm.
But if a cheap, real cheap motor comes along, a Peugeot or something, I 'll buy it.
If it's the right price.
Well Peugeot I mean you're talking a hell of a lot for spares.
Yeah I know so, that's the problem you see.
Fords
Yeah.
I get twenty five percent discount.
So
But you know's Peugeot
That's why I want a Ford.
Yeah.
Peugeot.
The heat surge grill thing in the car had broken and you couldn't just buy a n individual switch you er had to buy the whole thing and it was
Yeah.
over fifty quid.
Oh yeah I 'm not surprised.
For a bit of plastic.
Yeah.
Yeah but I get a good I get a good say that again.
I get a good discount with er Renault Peugeot.
?
Yeah.
Yeah Renaults I get a very good discount.
Who gives you that then, Somervilles
No no, I get it up.
somewhere like that.
They're a main discounters.
Oh yeah I remember your dad saying.
No I don't deal with er Somervilles.
He gets more discount than.
Yeah.
Yeah they phoned up last week.
Or at the beginning of this week.
Mm.
You haven't used us for a while.
I said no, I ain't had no motors in of your type.
Oh what'd she say?
Says oh that's fair enough then in n it?
I said yeah.
How's business?
Said oh it's doing alright thanks.
I said how's your business?
Oh pretty quiet.
I said oh that's good then in n it?
Yeah?
They're alright.
Most of the people are alright.
Yeah.
I suppose they have to check up on
Make sure you're still alive
Yeah.
Escort estate seventy quid.
Seventy quid?
Oh that 'll be real crap.
Oh an old one.
Yeah.
Er spare, short tax no M O T.
Mini automatic here.
That's what mum wants.
Your mum's got hasn't she?
So
Yeah.
She'd probably have some lessons but she can't afford it.
Oh here's some better prices
I said I'd sit with her.
There's a Sierra here, eighty three.
Twelve months' M O T, taxed, very good condition.
Good reason for sale.
Seven hundred and eighty quid.
Mm.
Sierra two litre ghia.
Nineteen eighty three.
Two months' tax, M O T.
Got condition.
Mm.
Sounds ominous.
Yeah.
One thousand three hundred and fifty.
Yeah respray.
Dad said if you go looking for a motor got a magnet at work, take that with you.
Yeah, good idea in n it?
Yeah well.
That's the only problem with buying it, well I suppose it's any, dodgy any secondhand car really isn't it?
Oh yeah yeah.
If it's more than a few years old.
Cortina two litre G L auto.
Ten months' M O T, excellent all round condition.
Any trial.
Four hundred and ninety five pound.
No, bugger all in here.
Do you have a look at mother and baby?
Nothing?
No.
Always the bloody same.
No, there's not even anything in erm appliances, anything like that.
No?
Yeah.
Oh I 'll go and do this stuff.
Did you get a bill in today?
No.
Didn't get any post.
No, no bills?
Good.
No post.
Good.
No post is good news.
As far as I 'm concerned.
Yeah.
It's always bloody bills.
Pardon?
Shut the door.
No, it 's, it's not that cold.
Do you wan na cup of tea or d'y we have it when you come back?
Yeah you could have a go.
I won't be a long.
Right.
Okay.
So how was Ron at work?
Was he alright?
Yeah.
So how many days do you owe him for?
Paid him.
You've paid him?
What with?
Is he going on Saturday night?
Yeah.
Is Tracey going?
No.
Why?
Er she can go if she gets a babysitter.
Ah!
Oh dear.
Do you think she wants to go?
More than likely, yeah.
Rob's not gon na
He's going, definitely.
He said I don't go out very often been out.
I says yeah I says I 'm in the same boat.
I said I don't go out very often.
It's nice when you do get out.
How old's their little boy?
Two?
Three?
Three I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Er I said er Lisa'd like to go out but er she don't feel like it these days.
We haven't been out together for ages.
No.
Well the last time we went out together was
Yeah.
And that was with Ann and John wasn't it?
Yeah.
Mm.
Yeah and I went to that
No, if you were feeling okay and wanted to go out we'd go out on Saturday night somewhere.
Let's go out for a nice meal somewhere.
We can't afford a meal.
Well this is it.
Could afford a few drinks but not a meal.
No.
Meal we can get at home.
I know.
It's nice to have somebody else to cook it.
Oh yeah I know it is.
I 'm not this drink at the moment anyway.
You don't want to do anything at the moment.
No I 'm sorry.
put the ironing away yet.
Done it all and still sits in the chair.
Oh dear.
It's getting it up the stairs isn't it?
I think I've got to go into tomorrow.
?
Yeah, in the high street.
Yeah.
I've got ta go down.
bank?
Yeah.
get some.
Oh we need some bread as well.
Get some bread?
Are you alright for the morning?
Yeah.
No notes.
No?
Yeah well we got that lasagne I was going to do that for you today but
Well I 'll have to have some of your money then.
So I can get some.
Yeah.
Otherwise cos I won't get any till dinner time you see.
Mm.
you were gon na have that lasagne anyway.
Cos I would have done that for you today but
Yeah.
I didn't know what time you were coming home.
Neither did I.
We were gon na put it in the oven and just leave it there but it would
Yeah.
have dried up.
Yeah.
That's why I phoned up.
So I had a couple of the beefburgers.
Eh?
I had a couple of the beefburgers.
You had a couple?
You've had some already?
Yeah, I had some for my lunch.
Oh.
alright.
You know like the ones your mum and dad had last few
Yeah those ones.
Quite nice.
Not sure what meat they used in them.
I don't know where my.
here.
It's a spare one.
Oh, Anne was telling me she said er she went out last night and mum turned round and said to her now don't you be late home cos it's cold out there.
Now you're not gon na be late home..
Oh is Clifford bring the wood round tomorrow?
Yeah.
What, in the morning or?
Where are you, where do you want it putting?
Behind the shed.
What the one that's up?
Yeah.
Yeah yes, alright.
But away from the fence.
Away from the fence?
Okay.
So I can get that other one up.
Ooh.
Suppose I ought to tell him that shouldn't I? be out and unlock the gate.
Yeah.
I should be in in the morning.
Yeah?
I suppose I 'll stop here Saturday night.
Anne wants to see if she can have Peter over the weekend sometime.
She's gon na have a word with Kenny.
Saturday.
Yeah but if he's gon na come Saturday I mean we can hang on painting we?
But if he's not gon na come I 'll, we 'll do it anyway.
Yeah.
Be nice if he could.
Paddy was saying that all the club members were getting ten pound.
Saturday night.
Yeah?
Yeah.
So he must be doing well mustn't he?
Unless there's something funny.
Du n no.
Cos she's wondering if he's gon na give her any spending money.
He can buy me a bloody beer.
Yeah.
She said if he gives her fiver she 'll throw it back in his face and say that's not enough.
No.
Yesterday.
And I think she intends on having quite a few drinks.
Oh no.
You 'll probably end up having to carry her home.
Well her mum sent me so
No it will say on the the actual you know the bottom bit on the other side.
What bank, what clearing bank is it?
Midland Bank.
Yeah.
Midland Bank no charge.
As I say you 'll probably be able to pay in at the Nat West cos you have got an account with them.
wake up with wet dreams every morning.
Oh dear, poor boy.
Or wake up with a stalker
Well you're just have to be patient won't you?
Yeah I 'm patient alright.
I mean it's not very nice
The only way to be.
it's not very nice being pregnant actually.
No,.
I know I feel it with a belly.
Well yeah you can feel the belly but you haven't got the actual feelings.
Yeah.
No I 'm not designed to be pregnant I 'm not.
You're what sorry?
Not designed to be pregnant.
Yeah alright.
All I know is I've lost me socks.
on the stairs.
The bottom of the stairs.
They're not, I just looked.
And your jumper, where you left them.
Ooh.
Oh
Ooh.
Have I got a clean jumper?
Sorry?
Yeah there's a clean one.
That's something clean then.
Thank you.
Is that shirt not clean
Oh actually no, I 'll have that back.
Oh!
put on a clean pair clean pair of jeans.
Yeah right.
I 'll erm I 'll sling that lot over the stairs.
It's heavy you know, carrying washing.
Yeah.
well take it in two piles like, you know what I mean?
Oh no, then you've got to go up
Take, take
the stairs twice.
That's three times.
well take half of it down take half of it down
I 'm not going upstairs now.
No, alright then.
But when you go up to get Peter take some up with you.
Right.
Right?
That saves you a journey dun n it?
Yeah all up again.
So each time you go up, take a bit with you.
Yes sir.
Suppose you ate all your peanuts last night?
Yeah.
That's probably why I want to go for a dump now.
I 'm busting to go.
You're lucky, I haven't been for three days.
Here.
No.
I don't know, it saves on toilet paper dun n it?
It's when you feel it bunging up inside you.
All you've got ta do is to sit on the bog and go oooaaah
I don't think it would make any difference.
I've tried that quite a few times, so
fart.
Yeah, I know.
It was that cabbage.
I thought I'd give us a bit of cabbage last night.
Getting our roughage. thought the cauliflower would but no, not really.
Oh well, gon na get the sack I am.
Yeah well I mean boss ringing up, chasing after you.
Yeah.
Well he's al he's normally late anyway so
Mm.
dun n it?
Ooh.
Do you think I ought to put that teddy in his cot?
Yeah.
Well I've moved that mobile up the stairs down one.
Yeah?
So it can be used.
So, I stripped the bed yesterday.
Yeah I know.
Yeah.
He's totally wrecked it.
Yeah I know.
He 'll probably wreck it again.
Mm.
He just fiddles around don't he?
Wakes up
Sorry?
He wakes up and fiddles around doesn't he?
Yeah.
Well he moves around.
It's quite funny actually.
Ooh.
Oh go away.
Think I 'll open the window.
Good dear.
Bit of fresh air didn't hurt anybody.
Specially with that flying around.
Oh dear.
smell peanuts I think.
Mm.
Ooh.
Ooh
Yeah at least mine's only peanuts.
Yours is everything.
I know.
Ooh.
Lift your leg like a bloody dog.
Disgusting.
Still bloody well recording.
Yeah.
I think I 'll have to abandon it with you around.
Why?
Why, ain't I supposed to mention it's recording or anything?
You're supposed to be normal.
I am normal.
Open the window when you've finished.
You listening?
Er, so that's it really isn't it?
Yeah.
Do that insurance claim of mine.
Get some money back.
I was thinking about getting two sets of overalls.
You might as well.
One in the wash, one on.
Yeah.
all that Tippex Is this Tippex?
Yeah
What I've done is I've got extra extra large
Mm.
and er I've asked for the er extra length one.
It's a tall length.
Yeah.
Right?
Cos what I thought, if I had a bigger you can always turn, you can always turn them up for us sew them and all that.
But at least I'd get the right size then.
Yeah.
Come on, let's have a look at you then.
How are you?
Are you better?
Eh?
Shall mummy wipe your face?
Oh dear.
Nasty cough.
Nasty cough.
Oh dear.
Come on, let mummy wipe your face.
There.
Oh you want some of this do you?
Here you are then.
Here you are, you play with that then.
No you can't have the whole roll.
No, not the whole roll.
No just that.
How boring.
Yeah.
I know.
Are you playing with that?
Are you playing with the telephone?
Eh?
Are you?
You on the telephone?
Eh?
Peter.
Yeah.
Eh.
Are you playing with that?
Yeah.
Yeah?
You are.
What do you fancy for your breakfast?
Bit of toast?
Eh?
Do you want some toast and marmite?
Toast and marmite?
Yeah.
Oh.
What are you saying?
Eh?
Are you talking to mummy?
Are you talking to me?
Are you?
Are you?
Yes.
Yes?
What are you saying?
What did you say?
Say mum.
Peter Peter mum mum say mum mum mum mum
say mum say mum say mum Peter
We 'll go and get your medicine shall we? drop of medicine?
That's your foot.
Yeah it's your foot.
Mummy go and get your medicine.
There you are.
Yeah, your medicine.
You like this don't you?
Mm.
Yeah.
Mm.
There you go.
Good boy.
Oh dear.
Bless you.
Bless you.
Oh dear.
No no no no no no no.
Yeah.
There you go.
Lovely.
Shall we wipe your nose?
You don't like that.
No.
all over your face, everywhere.
Whoo!
Yeah.
Mm.
Come on then.
What's that?
Is that a rabbit?
It's a snail isn't it?
A snail.
You've got the wrong one.
? You can't be doing that, no.
Here you are then.
Peter.
Mm.
Lovely.
No, you're not gon na have it.
You're not quite big enough yet.
No, cos you 'll just throw it everywhere.
And I'd rather you eat it than make a mess of it eh?
You can have the bowl when it's empty.
Yeah? oi.
You can have the bowl when it's empty.
Which I doubt very much.
Here you are then.
Snail.
Peter.
Good boy.
Snail.
Yeah.
Snail that goes oh so slow.
Peter!
Good boy.
Ooh!
Oh you're quite enjoying this this morning aren't you?
Decided against the toast.
bit of Weetabix.
Here you are then.
Here you are.
Mm.
Mummy hasn't had her breakfast yet.
Yeah.
There, is that good?
That good?
Ooh let's wipe your nose again.
Ugh!
Alright.
I 'm only wiping your nose.
You noisy monkey.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
Your mummy's got a cough too.
We're a right pair aren't we?
Yes, we are.
We are.
Yes.
Ooh.
Mm.
Yes.
Mm.
Yes come on Peter.
Peter.
Been a good boy, you've nearly eaten it all.
Here you are.
Come on.
One more spoonful.
Come on.
Peter.
Peter!
Good boy.
Mm.
Open wide, there.
Yeah.
Here you are then.
Yes, very good.
We're gon na have to wash your face.
I think we will.
I think it's filthy.
What were you doing last night in bed, eh?
Peter.
Come on.
Good boy.
There.
Nearly finished.
Nearly finished.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
There.
Come on.
Come on.
Alright, we 'll leave that then shall we?
Shall we leave that?
Or do you want some more?
Try again.
No you don't want it.
Alright then.
Mummy go and get your milk then.
Alright?
Mummy get your milk.
He liked that.
There you are.
You gon na hold it?
Are you gon na hold it?
I doubt it.
No.
You like mummy to hold it don't you?
Oh you old boozer.
Ah.
Let's wipe your face.
Come on.
Good boy.
There you are.
Do you want some more?
I think you'd rather be playing with everything wouldn't you?
Yeah.
Alright then?
Where are you going?
Eh?
Are you after that snail again?
Are you?
Are you after the snail?
Ooh.
Oh you're comical.
Did you slip, right?
You want to get up again?
Well you have to get yourself up.
Can you get yourself up?
Oh pardon!
Where you going?
Hey where you going?
Hey where you going?
You don't know.
You're making a mess on mummy's nice clean floor.
Yes.
You don't care though do you?
Hey?
Hey?
You don't care?
Come on then, you hold mummy's hand.
Eh?
Now where are you going?
Come on then.
Come on.
Ooh way up!
Whoo!
Come on, you have to go forward.
Go forward.
Whoo!
Oh dear! hold your hands up.
Come on.
One two three four.
One two three four.
You wan na go backwards now don't you?
What are you doing?
Oh dear!
You're funny.
Are you funny?
I think you are, aren't you?
Eh?
Now what are you gon na do?
Eh?
Now what are you gon na do?
Yeah.
You used to really like them, you did.
When you were little.
Eh?
You did.
So you managed to get everything done?
Yeah, I paid the er.
Mm.
Er for er..
yeah.
Erm given him twenty quid.
That was right wasn't it?
Du n no, yeah.
Where, where is it?
In there.
in there?
Thank you.
was it twenty or twenty five?
I think it was just twenty wasn't it?
Ooh I don't know.
I'd like some money.
How much money you got left?
What are you smiling at?
Have you got something to tell me?
The tape recorder's on!
Don't slap your leg.
All the dust came out.
You've got some clean jeans.
No don't cos it's him!
Yeah I 'll put some clean jeans on.
I've done all the dusty work.
Looked a right state going in I tell you.
I bet you did.
Still your painting
It's done.
Apparently the er dust, filler dust
Yeah.
that er when you breathe it down right, it goes in your lungs, it doesn't shift.
It stays there.
Mm.
It doesn't go.
It 'll stay there for the rest of your life.
That's why a lot of people suffer illnesses.
Mm.
Yeah, did you wear a mask?
Yeah, oh yeah yeah.
Always have done.
Yeah.
Every now and then I never used to.
Always wear a mask.
That might be one reason why I suffer a bit of asthma now.
Aggravation.
It might be, yeah.
You never know.
Yeah with the dust
Yeah.
You ain't half looking at me ain't you?
So what else did they have to say?
Did they ask how Peter was or not?
Yeah, they asked er how you were.
Mm?
And er asked me when it was due.
And I said er er Peter was born in Ju June and the next one's due in July the tenth.
And Tish went bloody hell!
Went bloody hell!
As if poor girl!
I went yeah, poor girl.
You are giving me a look ain't you babe?
Eh?
You are.
He's getting all excited.
Let me go and make you a cup of tea.
Yeah, cheers.
Do you want the fire on?
Sorry?
I 'll get the fire going.
Whee!
Amuse your son.
Yeah, I am.
Oh me tits!
Ow!
You're not after my glasses are you?
Oh no.
Ow!
Me nipple.
Ah!
You're hurting me mate.
Once upon a time there were three bears.
Mama bear, papa bear, baby bear.
They all went for a walk down the woods.
They did, yeah.
Alright old Goldilocks she stumbled across the house.
Whoops, oh look, there's a house.
Oh yeah.
Ooh they've got some soup on the table.
Yeah.
So she ate all the soup
Actually it was porridge.
Alright, porridge then.
Whatever.
Yeah he don't mind.
He don't care.
Ow!
No, he don't care.
squeezing me nipples.
Ain't you babe, eh?
Oh you've got a little cross-eyed you are.
His left eye?
Yeah.
Mm.
It looks slightly
Yeah.
But like said when she tested him, she said it's erm
Just a weak eye.
Ah!
Ah!
He uses it.
If it's er a proper squint are you listening?
If it's a proper squint they don't use it.
They don't seem to use it.
Yeah.
Yeah, he likes
up nose.
Pick your nose mate.
Ow!
Ow.
That hurt.
He 'll soon be howling.
Let me get to him.
He loves it.
I don't.
So.
You're not the one who's being chucked up in the air.
You 'll give me a heart attack.
What's your daddy doing to you?
You liked that didn't you.
No, don't do it.
Eh?
He was chewing his toes this morning.
You're getting a bit big to stand on daddy.
He was, he was chewing his toes.
Was he?
Yeah.
Good.
You were chewing your toes were you?
Yeah cos he was going blah blah.
He was screwing his face up but he was still doing it.
No.
No.
No.
No!
Battle of wits this is.
I think you're gon na lose.
No.
No.
He's laughing.
He thinks it's a game you see.
No you can not have me glasses.
Two-eyed git.
Eh?
No.
No.
Well if you take them off and then they won't be out will they?
There, that fooled you.
He's staring at me now.
Now he's trying to grab them.
He's trying to grab you.
Didn't you mate, eh?
Didn't you?
Just be thankful you haven't got longer hair, I 'm telling you.
Yeah.
There's method in my madness.
Do you erm have we got another bill in yet?
What electric?
No we've had a bill from the council.
That bill.
Oh we've got a bill you see.
Yeah.
Let's have a look then.
It's twenty one pounds.
It doesn't say when it's supposed to be paid by so I think we might forget it for now.
Don't you?
Bags of rubbish from the ga there weren't no bags of rubbish in the garden.
No there wasn't.
No I know.
I think, well we 'll hang on to it and then they can send us a reminder can't they?
Yeah.
It's normally thirty days.
It doesn't say anything on there.
No they don't.
That's what I was looking at.
No.
Might get the business to pay for it.
was it?
No.
They're tricky bastards, they really are.
I don't like them.
The council are a nuisance.
They are really.
What can you do?
Your brother's brought the wood.
Oh he has has he?
Yeah.
How much?
A fiver.
how much was how much was there there?
Oh it's quite a bit.
I haven't you know cos it wasn't very nice when he brought it.
He was gon na stack it over this side.
Yeah?
But I said no, cos we don't it yet.
I said we want it behind the shed.
But whether they've actually put it behind the shed or what I don't know.
Well I hope they have.
I'd better go and have a look.
Well that's where you told me to tell him to put it, behind the shed.
I said the back of the shed.
At the back?
The other side, not behind.
No yeah you said the back.
Yeah.
And away from the fence.
I du n no.
Away from the fence!
Yeah I 'm sure it's alright.
You shouldn't take him out there.
He's alright, only for a quick second.
Alright.
Is that alright, where it is?
Not much.
Sorry?
not much.
It's pretty good wood though I think.
I think your brother wa he was slightly worried about the amount he could take in his car.
Thought he said something about the suspension.
Oh what!
Gon na say I shall tell him, don't seem much there mate.
Mm oh.
Pop down myself.
Probably.
I could get that in my boot.
I didn't look.
You know I just sort of
Yeah.
At that particular point he was whingeing away so
How's the dinner?
I don't know.
I 'll go and check.
That Dave's a funny old chap isn't he?
Yeah.
Didn't say much.
Didn't he?
No.
Mm, I think we're warm enough now.
Just burnt me finger.
Do you wan na put him in his walker?
Yeah.
Please.
No it's not all
?
Yeah it's not all done.
This is your daddy 's.
Mummy's gon na do yours next.
Expectant look on his face.
I think you'd be
Yeah.
minus your lunch if er somebody had his way.
I won't switch the oven off just in case.
Try a bit from the middle first can you?
It's hot.
Is that alright?
I 'll switch the oven off then.
Oh do you want any bread or is that alright?
Yeah, do us some bread.
New loaf.
How many slices?
Just one.
Oh.
I 'll stick to one.
Oh.
You can have the crust.
No thanks.
Oh.
Alright.
Best bit of the bread.
Oh it's massive.
Do you pick these loaves or do they feel sorry for you when they give them to you?
Feel sorry for me.
bread there.
Oh I see that.
I 'm surprised I 'm allowed to touch the loaf.
I am.
It's fresh anyway.
It's really fresh isn't it?
Is that alright?
Examining it!
Is it alright?
Oh I can't cut bread.
You know me dear.
You should be able to.
What do you mean?
Used to have er fresh loaves all the time.
When?
When you lived with the old man.
Well it used to last a day if that, and I never used to cut any of it.
He used to eat it all.
What a loaf of bread a day?
Yeah I know.
Shit.
It was only at weekends.
Yeah he used to have a whole loaf on a Saturday.
Oh my
Peter.
He's smiling.
Yeah a whole loaf he used to eat, himself.
No.
No.
Come on.
This way round.
Good boy.
Mummy get your lunch.
You've got stew and dumpling.
No, not you.
I don't know what you've got for your dinner.
That's a point, I haven't done any I haven't got anything out.
That's a point.
Didn't you?
Sausages?
Mm.
Yeah.
If you want eggs you 'll have to go and get some from Ann.
Yeah I know cos this morning.
We've got ta get some eggs haven't we?
Yeah.
I 'll pop up and get them.
Oh alright.
Alright, come on then bustle, let's get
Burgers.
What?
Get a couple of burgers out.
You can cook them from frozen.
They won't take long to defrost.
Alright.
Okay.
Okay dear.
Whatever you say.
Oh a bit of kidney.
Ugh.
So are you coming straight home tonight?
Yeah.
I didn't know whether you might stop off at the pub or something.
I didn't
Eh?
didn't know whether you might stop off at the pub.
Come on you.
Oh.
out tomorrow aren't I?
Yeah, true.
Some people have got their washing out you know.
Eh?
Some people have got their washing out.
Yeah, it 'll dry.
It's not raining.
That's it.
It goes like this and then it 'll cloud over and rain.
I thought about it then I thought no, it's not worth it.
Better wait until the dries first.
Put it out.
Yeah.
Mm.
Hello poppet.
You laughing at?
Got ta pen?
Yeah, yeah.
That's a bill.
Oh don't worry about that.
Peter.
Excuse me.
Pardon.
Did that taste alright, that lasagne?
Yeah.
Oh shut up.
If we had a microwave it wouldn't be, would it?
That's
Oh god.
We'd probably blow round the edges when I put in the freezer.
Come to think of it, yeah
Yeah.
Somebody there I think might like a bit of that.
You like lasagne don't you boy?
Ooh.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's had a really good sleep actually.
He went to sleep about half eleven.
Yeah?
Mm.
He nearly managed to sit himself up Melvin.
He sort of pulled backwards and hit that chair, got off that chair.
And he was sort of he managed to get his legs round but he just couldn't quite get his body up to sit up.
Come over here.
Come over here mate.
Here here boy.
Woof woof.
He's not a dog.
So I don't think it 'll be long before his crawling forwards.
No, it won't take long.
Bless his little cotton socks.
Yeah that's you.
slap your legs didn't you.
Kick.
Ooh.
Mm left the window open.
Du n no what I fancy for my lunch.
Didn't have my breakfast till about ten o'clock.
I didn't.
What's been happening on here then?
What?
Neighbours.
Oh you didn't see it did you?
Oh erm Marie's had er a letter from her supposed parents.
And there at her house now.
With them.
Mm.
Because they'd already warned, they've already warned her about you know sort of con people and you know
Yeah.
people just sort of out to get a quick buck.
So Alright baby, do you wan na drop of milk?
Eh?
No you have to wait for your lunch.
Ooh!
Mummy's just got a broken neck.
He's ever so thirsty.
I think it might be the medicine he's on.
But I practically filled that this morning.
Come on then.
Ah!
So is Robin at work today or not?
What?
Is Robin at work today or not?
Alright.
Yeah.
Well I du n no.
Mm?
Mm.
red nose.
No you're not drinking mummy's tea.
You don't like my tea, it's got no sugar in it.
Come to think of it, has daddy's got any sugar in it?
I don't know.
You 'll have to try it.
Having a bit of trouble?
What?
He looked like a cow chewing a piece of grass.
There.
Here you are, give us your plate love.
Erm beefburger, sausage
Egg bacon chips beans
Well if you have bacon now you won't be able to have it at the weekend.
Well alright, okay.
Mushrooms.
Right okay.
We've got some mushrooms.
Got some mushies.
Legal ones I hope.
Did you want mushrooms with it?
Yes please.
Good.
And beefburger.
I mean do you want beans?
Beefburgers and sausages.
Do you want eggs with it?
Yeah.
And egg.
And chips.
God.
I don't know whether my brain can cope with all this.
Aha.
Oh yeah we've got a good few mushrooms there.
Ah.
Oh dear.
Such is life.
I feel so tired yet I've done nothing.
I went over the shop this afternoon.
That was an effort.
Sorry?
Take him
Yeah well I wasn't gon na leave him here was I?
Yeah.
Bung him in the cot thing.
He'd be alright.
No, I wouldn't do that.
No I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't.
No I'd never be able to forgive myself if anything happened would I?
Eh?
Oh is it.
Mm.
So was the record in the charts?
Yeah, he's released it.
Oh no!
The old Alice Cooper song.
Postman Pat.
Oh dear.
Oh I du n no.
? Oh I don't think there is any.
Haven't had time.
What have you been doing Melvin?
I ain't talking cos you've got that bloody thing on.
Well, you just won't have to talk to me then will you?
Eh?
I think we're gon na have to put these vegetables up on a up higher.
Yeah.
Cos I 'm having a job bending down.
Put them on the washing machine.
That's a good idea.
Then they 'll all shake off when it spins.
We 'll have potatoes the kitchen.
Different.
Do you mind if I sit down and drink my tea? start tea.
Course you can sit down.
Well I didn't know whether you were starving starving starving.
I 'm always bloody starving.
get rid of
Why don't you like them?
I do.
awkward sometimes.
Oh god.
So
?
Yeah.
No I mean he didn't want his erm milk at tea time.
Oh yeah.
He nearly weeed all over me.
Did he?
He nearly got me this afternoon.
You have to watch him.
I know you do.
didn't get me.
Get anywhere else?
His own nappy.
He went
He's been watching his old man.
He's quite funny.
Did he flick it?
Cos he normally flicks it.
No, no he scraped along with his right ball.
Oh no, he's quite funny.
But you can usually tell when he's going to.
Cos it sort of slightly
old boy he was going.
slightly swells.
Yeah.
Was he?
You can just see at the end you know at the end, it fills like a, a little little splodge of wee.
Oh look!
That's brilliant.
Have you seen one of them?
No.
Oh god, how many's he got?
Oh no, he's got ta be joking!
I didn't realize you could still, you could buy them.
Yeah.
Mm.
Love it.
Oh you've got cats now.
?
Yeah.
Yeah.
they?
No.
Did er
Pin.
Mm I don't know where the pins are.
Trying to think.
Well I can give you a nappy pin.
Eh?
A nappy pin be alright?
Yeah, that 'll do.
I only wan na
The other thing he likes, he loves that kitchen roll.
Yeah I know.
He shreds it.
Have you seen him when he does it?
So intense.
Yeah the old motor's alright.
Yeah it's just conking out.
Keep the choke out all the time.
Oh dear.
I see why you get tired sitting here.
Why?
The fire.
You want to swap seats
I sit over there.
Yeah.
No I feel tired anyway.
If I sat there at night
Yeah.
Oh dear.
I ought to get some vegetables today I suppose.
Microphone's on here.
Yeah I know.
Attached permanently by a nappy pin.
Yeah.
Mm.
try and get the
Is your dad coming up?
No.
Oh.
So your mum's got her wish then?
Yeah well they're going down south
Yeah.
Chelmsford
Hooray.
That's unusual.
asking, she said oh what about erm grandma?
Does she take an interest in what we're doing like the decorating and stuff?
No.
Nothing.
She, she hasn't even offered any help?
I said no.
I said too interested in their own.
The only thing she offers is sort of help with Peter but that's because she wants Peter.
Not because she wants to help us.
I thought she was supposed to have him at the beginning of this month.
Twenty eight isn't it?
Yeah.
the end of this month.
Yeah.
beginning or the end.
I don't know.
It depends on Diane you see.
And Louise.
Well can you imagine what's gon na happen?
Don't really want him to go.
It's be chaotic round there.
Yeah.
Well no even his mum, you know they can't cope with two.
brother will let Jade go.
He probably won't let Jade go cos of the dog.
Mum can have the baby and Ann can have Peter.
they 'll both have both.
They can share.
One has him Friday and Saturday and one has him Sunday and Monday.
That means they 'll have to communicate.
Well communicate don't they? to talk.
I 'm not having them stuff up my plans.
Well Sharne 'll have them.
Sharon can have them.
It'd be easier if Sharne did.
Wouldn't it?
I don't mind.
Why should, why shouldn't Annie and me mum?
It's different cos we wan na go away.
No Ann would have him the whole time.
Yeah well
Your mum wouldn't.
No I know.
Have him for Thursday night.
Thursday night Friday night Saturday night Sunday night, four nights.
Mm.
three in the morning or something when we get there.
Wherever we're gon na go.
I hate you and your travelling plans because they all get
I ain't travelling any plans.
Not making, I 'm not making any
You are.
Three o'clock in the bloody morning.
Well it's the best time to go.
and I 'll drive.
You can drive.
I know.
Saves messing around with bloody road traffic.
Oh well when you're planning to go there won't be that much road traffic.
So, yeah.
Get out.
Open the window.
Mm.
Cornwall.
Yeah I've noticed.
I can't remember.
I 've, I've been to Cornwall but I was so small.
It's great down there.
really loved it.
Oh I remember, yeah, when you went.
Yeah that's right.
Mm.
That's why you slept in a field?
Yeah.
Woke up the next morning.
We knew it it was a long way down but.
Bloody right at the top we were.
like that.
Mm.
Oh god.
Yeah.
He said shit, glad I never drove the car down there.
We'd have never got it back out.
Junior's awake.
Ooh.
Mm, won't be long.
How many weeks am I now?
Twenty four?
Twenty three?
Mm, must be.
Twenty four weeks.
You're nearly there.
half way.
Yeah.
Soon be viable.
Yeah.
Twenty six weeks aren't I?
Twenty eight.
No it's twenty six, twenty eight is six months.
Twenty eight.
You have abortion up to twenty eight weeks don't you?
Yeah but it's viable.
The foetus is viable at twenty six weeks.
Yeah? abortion.
No, they wouldn't do it.
No.
Unless there's some medical reason, serious medical reason, they wouldn't do it.
Wouldn't have it done at this stage anyway.
No.
No it would be awful.
Be so traumatic for them cos you can actually feel the baby moving
Yeah, that's what I mean.
from inside you.
There's obviously reasons why.
Yeah.
Mm gosh, we're early this morning.
Yeah, I've got ta don't wan na be there all day.
Oh yeah.
Have you left a lighter behind?
No.
Oh you're not
Yes.
Got me keys?
What keys?
Oh your car keys.
I suppose they're in my coat pocket.
Or your coat pockets dear.
Ta.
See you later.
medicine.
Oh you
What?
The tape was on my
Oh I can hear it.
You normally move your head away from me.
got any
medicine or not.
Pardon?
Playing with your feet?
Are you?
What shall we have for your breakfast today?
Yeah what do you fancy?
You 'll make a mess whatever you have won't you?
Here you are, have a drink.
Here you are.
Have a drink.
Oh come here.
Snotty nose.
Alright?
Better get you something to play with then.
Then we 'll see what we can rustle up for breakfast.
Right?
Ooh look at this?
Yeah.
Something for you to make a lot of noise with.
Your favourite.
Erm Where you going?
Hey?
Toast and marmite be alright for you?
Eh?
Oh you're coming back now are you?
Oh go on then.
Alright?
Mummy's got it all under control.
Yeah, toast and marmite.
You're supposed to eat them.
You're not supposed to play with them.
That's it.
Bit hard that bit?
Try that one.
Pardon.
Try that bit.
Or don't you want to?
Here you are, there's a piece there.
Let mummy give it to you.
That's noisy.
Ah.
Mm.
No mummy doesn't want it.
No.
You can have yours.
That's it, you can do it.
Go on then.
Eat up.
Eat up.
What's that?
A car with a noisy exhaust pipe.
Yeah, car.
Eat that piece.
No that piece is better.
That's the crust babby so that's a bit hard.
Mm, bit hard.
Yeah?
Come on look, have a piece of this then.
Ta.
Ta.
Peter.
Ta.
Here you are then.
Mm you've got fluff and everything on that one.
Oh lovely.
No, where are you going?
No, come on.
Sit back.
No you're not moving anywhere.
Mm ta.
Ta.
Ta.
Good boy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Mm.
Oh!
Breaking the bread now, alright.
Here you are.
Oh you've put the plate upside down, alright.
Wheey up!
Oh dear.
What a mess.
All the crumbs, oh dear.
a bath after all this.
Let's look what the postman's brought us.
Shall we?
Thanks for the birthday present.
Was it alright?
Yeah.
I didn't know whether it would be but I thought, well you could go down and change it.
Yeah.
Yeah it's alright.
Jade loved it.
I thought she might you know?
Yeah we did sort of point p sort of pr pressing, but
She needs
Yeah.
Yeah.
She liked the noise it made.
Cos got it up on the side and he hadn't showed her and he was just pressing oh what's that
I was dying to open it to see what noise it made but
you should have opened it.
No I didn't try.
No Did nanny and granddad come up and see her?
Quarter past eight.
and she was in bed.
It's pathetic, they know she goes to bed about half past seven.
Yeah.
So they said where is she then?
Well she's in bed.
We'd kept her up till quarter to eight and she was knackered.
You'd never think they had children of their own.
No.
No we couldn't get earlier.
But they ain't got no commitments I mean what were they doing?
Till ten past eight.
They have fish and chips Friday nights for christ sake.
Fish and chips they have.
So she ain't got ta.
Fish and chips they have.
Oh, I du n no.
Yeah.
No, jeans didn't come.
I ordered them again but they didn't come.
No I didn't think they would actually.
bought her a music.
. It's a musical box but it.
Funny stuff.
Yeah.
And it's all hedgehogs and stuff like that.
Oh I know, yeah.
And it's got primrose well it's on it's about that big I'd say.
Yeah.
But I mean the best thing is the tin it come in.
. I said oh I love the tin.
I think that's lovely.
She'd be better off going somewhere like the Early Learning Centre and getting a damn good toy.
Yeah.
it's your nanny and granddad, yeah.
Is it next weekend they're going down?
yeah.
I mean it's not is it?
Yeah.
Has he said anything to them or not?
No.
put them all across the garden.
I said do you want me to go and let them out for you?
You're kidding!
Well I'd better go wreck me car.
Yeah well glad she liked it.
Alright then love Ta ta.
That was Auntie Diane.
A bit of amber nectar would be nice.
Gon na have plenty of that tonight.
Getting your room ready we are, yeah.
Here you are, look.
Getting your room ready.
Yeah.
great when you start talking won't it, eh?
Eh?
Won't it be great?
Ooh!
Is that better is it?
No.
Here we got.
Wheey up.
Gave the car oil a change.
Yeah.
Yeah right blacker than a black man.
Yeah black!
Was it?
Really thin as well.
Really thin.
Might improve the performance a bit
Yeah but I du n no how much I got in there cos I only just put so much in there so I 'll check it on Monday.
Yeah right.
But it sounds a bit better.
Tuck a tuck tuck a tick.
So what can we buy you with that money?
Eh?
You need some vests don't you?
Eh?
Ooh you're standing up pretty good aren't you mate?
Yeah.
He hasn't got any socks on remember.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
So what's that insurance thing for then?
Oh that's the life insurance.
For me and you.
So we've got to read it and sign it and we have to say that we understand it and we've received it basically.
Yeah.
So
your balance up mate.
Oh he does sometimes.
When he wants to.
He suddenly goes for it, you know?
Sort of stands up really straight and rigid.
Yeah.
Guess who was er trying to escape from his cot this morning?
He was?
Well you know he 'd, he'd obviously gone backwards.
He was on his front when I looked at him.
And he was making a tunnel.
When I got in it looked like a tortoise.
His head sticking out from underneath the blankets.
At least with him going backwards he can't can't
Good little folder in n it?
Yeah.
He won't er stay out of his covers.
He 'll erm aren't they?
Think he 'll probably have some more teeth through.
You listening?
Yeah.
Got to read all this?
Well
Sorry?
So er that paint didn't cover the skirting board very well.
It didn't?
Crap.
Absolute crap.
You might just as well
you might just as well have undercoated and put ordinary gloss on it.
Oh dear oh dear.
What are you doing down there?
I launched myself.
What are you doing down there buddy?
back of my head.
Didn't hurt
That was a silly thing to do.
No!
That was a silly thing to do weren't it, eh?
Goo goo goo goo
He's lightning mate, I tell you.
Nothing's safe with him, he's so quick.
There.
Okay okay.
forty grand.
Is that inflation linked?
Yeah.
So you 'll be worth quite a bit dead?
In a few years time.
I 'm worth more dead than alive.
Come on mummy go and get your lunch now.
But this is the insurance.
This ain't the er pension?
No.
So if I you get forty grand now
Yeah.
and you get a pension.
Oh.
Alright poppet.
What are you whingeing for?
You.
No daddy, he won't know that.
Ah!
Guess what.
The company will pay the greater of the sum insured or the total sale value of the units remaining allocated to the account and the account will cease on the death or earlier permanent disability of Melvin or the death or earlier permanent disability of Lisa.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
So it applies to one of us.
Yeah.
I knew that.
Well that's alright.
I didn't.
Right, what can I do to kill you?
Well at least we know that we 'll be alright if one of us does happen to die.
Yeah.
We 'll both be financially secure.
The government won't look after us.
No.
It should really.
Erm
You may pay all them flaming taxes and you get stuff all out of it.
I know.
Erm, what was I gon na say?
Haven't got a clue.
You ain't told me yet.
Oh yes, what do you fancy for your lunch?
What do you fancy for your lunch?
Food.
Bit of bread and butter.
Bread and butter?
Drop of bread and dripping.
Oy oi oi.
Oh you mum and dad er popped round last night to see Louise.
Guess what time they went round.
About nine, ten o'clock?
Quarter past eight.
She was in bed.
She normally goes to bed about half past seven.
They said that's the earliest they could get up there.
I said that's a load of rubbish I said cos they have fish and chips on a Friday night.
Yeah.
So she didn't have to cook.
Ah they would have had to wash up the plates and the knives and forks.
But she's just one of those women who don't like leaving stuff around, you know what I mean?
Once they've had something they've got ta do it before they go, can you believe.
She's a right pain in the arse at times, me mum.
That's why they don't go anywhere you see.
Yeah that's why they don't come and visit us or visit his brother very often.
So why did they want to see Louise for then?
It was her birthday.
Oh yeah.
should have gone soon as they got out of work.
Yeah.
And they could have got the fish and chips on the way back couldn't they?
Yeah.
What gets me
Peter!
Hello.
Hello.
When's your birthday mate?
June.
Tough get no money.
forget his.
By the time he's about twelve or something I 'll go when's your birthday mate?
Yeah.
June, July, something like that.
Alright.
I 'm looking for some smokes to smoke.
They're underneath that bag.
There we go mate.
He sticks his tongue a lot when he's sort of gets excited or he's doing something.
Looks quite funny.
I know.
Wheey up!
There's that point to point racing on today.
Wheey up!
Wheey up.
Wheey up.
Yeah.
Point to point today.
Point to point?
Yeah.
What's that?
Horseracing.
Yeah?
What's that about then?
It's at er
I don't know much about them.
Horseracing.
Amateur.
Well no, it's not but it's they don't get paid a great deal.
here, eh?
Yeah.
Yeah Saw er this snazzy little guard in.
About twelve quid.
Mm.
Fireguard.
We're gon na need one with him.
Yeah, it won't go round there though.
No.
Erm what I 'm thinking of doing is disconnecting the pipe there, and running it through that way.
And then it 'll be on.
Then what we've got ta do is drill through the holes, drill through there
Mm.
or just have it there as it is.
Yeah.
It's quite easily done.
All I've got ta do is just disconnect the cable.
And you just turn the gas off for five minutes
it's got nothing pilot light.
You know, anything like that.
Could do that couldn't we?
Yeah.
Make su yeah I think I 'll do that this weekend.
Put that down on my list.
Your front teeth are growing well mate.
Yeah.
They really are.
He might have some top ones before long.
So all them hassles what you're gon na get in the future when they they're gon na fall out in a few years time.
May get a quid if you're lucky.
Put that in your piggy bank.
Did you find his bank book?
No.
find it you know?
Mm.
I haven't really looked for it.
oi!
Want to sit on the floor mate?
Ah!
Can I have the please?
Oh I had a look at that Sierra that had a front-ender.
Cor there's some work on it.
Needs er both its headlamp units, needs an indicator unit, a bonnet front wing bumper
Mm?
number plate grill bonnet catch
Yeah.
What it needs.
It's a lot of work.
Oh an a repair to the inner wing.
Who's it for?
Er
Private job or
his name is., you know where you used to live? road, next road up.
Which goes across
?
, that's it.
Adrian?
Yeah.
Lee.
Lee?
Oh Lee! forgot about him.
I should have said something
He wouldn't know me.
No?
Adrian and Steven those two may do but Lee was just that little bit younger.
Oh and a new rad. radiator.
yeah.
I 'll get you lunch now.
Ally and everybody, they were pushing this bloody mini up, is it yours?
Go the other way it's easier
The gear weren't in first
said I ain't give you a hand, standing eating chips
Oh you had chips then you came home and you had bloody
as well.
Did I?
Spilt them all over the floor
oh it wasn't you it was Chris
You don't do it, yeah, stupid father, he didn't know what he was doing, didn't, then you sat there and fell asleep
Did I?
Yes
No I didn't
you did
yeah, I was watching that erm It's Your Pry Affair on
oh yeah
then I watched a film on
did you record it?
No, Inner Space it's called and it's like a, a
can you remember?
Yeah
it's a space, putting his
against this bloke
yeah
thing
yeah
well this one that was on last night it was like a
of that
yeah
so I mean
take the
that was on early, so I watched that and then I watched Educating Rita, yeah
it's still bloody raining
mm, come on then
bloody Sunday in n it, the microwave then
off the allotment can they?
no, makes them think they might come up do you want some porridge, mummy do you some porridge?
Yuck wallpaper paint, yeah alright then
It looks great in that room
Does it?
it's so bright
Be lovely I know dear
now it's all dry, it looks great won't it all
yeah
that colour there, it's all white, it's great
good
it had better be,
yeah, lovely, your room, yes, you've been thoroughly spoilt
in there
sorry
well what's he saying with you?
you're rude
No, poor little thing
You were you were well gone, is that dirty?
Yeah
Er, tut, erm, I 'll a, I 'll do the ironing today, I might as well get it all out the way
Yeah, is that other stuff dry?
Yeah
It is, really
yeah, yeah, mummy's going to do your porridge
Are you going to do any washing?
Well there is some there to do, yeah
Put the fire on in here for a little while
well there's only not a great deal, I mean there's a load in there already done, I think, is it done?
No it's not that it's the colour
yeah that's done
there's the stuff on the floor
and there's that on the floor, there's a couple of loads there
Loads?
Yeah there's the blacks under there
Oh is there?
There's black upstairs
and there's black upstairs, that have to be put in
Do the quilt and the whites first
Yeah so I, I 'll get his breakfast first
Yes
I 'll have our breakfast and promptly threw it all up
Did I put any money in there?
No
What, must have spent
spent them last night
No, you didn't put any money anywhere, cos I was sitting over there
Ah I ain't got no money for you babe, oh I know what I did, I had to count twenty pence worth of co er coppers on me
What you gave them to the barmaid?
I gave them to the barman, I went one pound, two, four, six, eight
How much was a pint, oh cos it was a pub wasn't it?
One forty four
It wasn't a club
that was er, one forty four for Newcastle
Oh what you had bottle?
Yeah, I started on Yorkshire, then I had
Er, it's not worth drinking
I had one pint of er normal Yorkshire, my bitter's stronger than that
yeah, it's not worth drinking
and then I had another pint of Yorkshire, but the draught one
Better?
it was a bit better, still not very nice
No
then er, after that we were upstairs and I stayed on Newcastle
mm so there's quite a lot of people there then was there?
Packed
Oh that's good did they charged to go or not?
No
Oh so it was like a free party type
Oh yeah it was erm,
yeah
and then they er invite you just, some people
Yes, it's good then?
makes the people into going
Yeah
was Megan there?
Oh yeah, yeah, huh, still with Dave though and er
cos I wanted to go to bed and er, by the time we got rid of one lot of people another lot all came through though
Oh cos he came home yesterday, did he?
yesterday, and when he was coming home yesterday, he was er, spoken to John on the way to the car
Yeah
and er there was a, a, erm a car, a car had hit a barrier earlier on in the day
mm
or about five minutes earlier on the motorway and they drove over a part of the barrier, and they got a blow out didn't they?
oh no
They said they'd changed the wheel in about three minutes flat, I said well it wasn't Friday the thirteenth was it?
Yeah
Did you send my regards to him?
Yeah, yeah, asked how you were
Mm
I said
what he say oh my god Melvin
he was going both of them going, how's your missus, some people didn't even know that you were pregnant again
some people, no I said she's alright, she's out here like that, ah,
yeah, that's it, no more, I said three
I haven't slept for two years
Hark at your daddy
Oh, it was quite funny
Oh
yeah, a lot of people didn't know you were pregnant again
well no, I mean I can conceive it quite well
oh yeah poor
they just look at me and say oh you know she hasn't lost any weight from the last one
Yeah no I mean, quite funny it was
well erm, I 'll see if this one's a boy, probably in a couple of years we might try for a girl, I don't know
No
wait
wait
sorry
yeah
wait for your body to get back to normal
that 'll be nice, nice to fit in some clothes
Yeah
Oh well
well I don't know how long this thing will last
What thing?
oh I think I've put too much milk in this
Yes Elaine was there
Yeah
er Rob was there
was Tracy?
No
all the others were there, Dean, Marg, er all the others
Clive?
Who?
Clive
Oh yeah Clive yeah, he's been ill
Oh has he?
Yeah
What's been the matter?
I don't know he's some flu or something, he's been in bed for four days
Oh god
yeah
We 'll put that in the fridge and see what that turns out like
oh
what?
I like that
no, he was never a fat boy
No, but he had a bit of a gut on him, a bit broad, but he was as skinny as hell
he was
well I can remember him skinny from school, I can, what was you saying you don't know what 'll last?
Ah?
What you mean?
He said you were gon na give him something but you didn't know how long, long it 'll last when I was in the kitchen you said I 'll put this on but I don't know how long it 'll last no
Don't you want a drop more?
Come on, cold isn't it, that's what's wrong
is it cold?
You looking at mummy's t-shirt oh god, you
oh dear, shall mummy give you your medicine, now he, he can do it
Did he put it down?
Yes
Can he eat
oh he, he likes to mess about a little bit first yeah, well
it's no good you like this don't you?
Gazunti mate
mummy give you a drop of it I think,
yeah, can your mother have some?
Come on then go on eat this, do you want more there?
He come running down the street
where's
mm, he licks are you licking your lips?
Daryl was handing out the tenners I said where's my fucking, where's my tenner
Oh yeah Juliet there I suppose
Oh yeah
prancing around
well she come over us last
did she?
Yeah
Where she live then?
Up this way, down Cromwell Road
yeah up there
still lives with her parents don't she?
Yeah
then Darren went home
It's a funny strange couple
They are aren't they?
Yeah
yeah
for years he I don't know, about eighty four with a
oh
yeah, sorry
You've got a big tongue you have
pop it out, pop that up are you, see teddy bear, see the teddy bear
Ha
press the button then
he tries to do it with one finger but he's just not quite strong enough
Yeah, aaargh
Oh, oh, oh, you made him jump
Oh poor thing
You left the mat then
Oh got the, got the Oliver pout there ain't we?
Oh dear
Peter got smiles,, definitely an Oliver pout he's got, yeah
What?
Er
er, er, alright mummy's going to see if your porridge is, cooled down a bit, oh you just do it, put you out to grass I think
Want a
no thank you
you stink ooh porridge
Go upstairs and paint that room in a minute, give it two coats today
it's too hot too hot mate
Paint won't be dry will it if we start papering it?
Mm
Paint won't be dry enough if we start wallpapering it
here are, sorry darling, oops sorry couldn't poison you could we?
Ah
This is really quite sweet this
Yeah
mm do you like porridge?
yesterday
No you left him a note didn't you?
Yeah I know I left him a note, I just wondered if you did see
No, I don't know what it, he didn't bang on the doors, I was hoovering at the time Is that nice?
Mm, is it?
Well he must have think got a lot of good customer here
Yes
had me up having four or five pints a day you know
Mm, oh he 'll have a pint a day
really, the next will have a pint that's two, I 'll have a pint that's three, you, four
Peter now where you going?
Can you eat your breakfast first before you go on your little walk about here I am, poppet oop
mm
must make sure that motor got a wing
mm, mm just wondering what to have next come on sit back
He wants the dish
Oop, come on sit back, please sit back oh you think you're very clever aren't you?
Where you going, ah?
Keep there, go on sit back, sit back, good boy, ah, yeah, look, come on, come on sit back, well you're finished with your breakfast then, here you are, here you are
here you are, Peter, I know you like doing your acrobatic, come on he knows to sit down to eat this breakfast, I can have an
contortionist here are, quite like this, here it is this disgusting baby food you get, ugh
Sure
we need this rain don't we?
Yeah, we do, the gardens do, come on, please poppet come on
I can't wait to start on that Spitfire this week
No
Oh yeah she wants it this month don't she?
Yeah
Er?
that one side together
Yeah, Peter, Peter, oh dear mummy feels pretty rough this morning
Do you?
Mm Peter oh this child come on likes this don't you?
Mm come on then, oh you're going that way now are you?
Here you are, wonder if your aunty will come round today
Who?
I wonder if Aunty Ann will come round today er if not, suppose we could go round and see her if she's about, getting withdrawal symptoms, won't she?
Come on, er Peter come on mummy's dropping porridge everywhere, have you had enough now?
Ah?
Come on I've got to wipe your face, oops
Ah
have you had enough, you've eat quite a lot haven't you?
You want some more, shall we try you with a little bit more?
Sit
paint in n it?
oh whoopy, here you are, Peter, good boy
Aren't there Grand Prix on?
No
mummy will most surprised if you eat all this come on then, have you had enough?
I think you might have here you are, oh yeah, blimey, what you trying to do?
Are you?
What you trying to do?
Mummy's leg, yes is that better daddy?
Is that better?
Mm, alright, thanks
Mm, how does your head feel now?
A lot better
Good eighteen minutes past ten and you're still eating your breakfast
Well that's
on bloody telly today
excuse me
of guinness records
It's alright you've got plenty to do
Sorry?
You've got plenty to do
Oh yeah mm that costs a lot that
mm, wan na watch Love Two tonight
You wan na watch Love Two, why?
Just want to.
Oh there's that new Carla Lane thing on, it's Screaming, sounds pretty good
What channel?
Er B B C one I think
Yeah, a new Carla Lane comedy
Yeah
Give it a go, watch European
again I suppose
Listen here darling there's a man in
er that means I can't watch er Maigret
Why?
if we watch the
that's alright I don't really like Maigret anyway
No
it's a bit too er good for words you know what I mean?
with Roger Daltry pin machines on tonight, never heard of it, oh it's David Bowie's group, that's it, ah I 'll record that
Erm, they don't show any more musical telly these days
Mm, you're attacking mummy now are you?
What time's that on?
Eleven forty
Oh dear
mummy will be well in bed by then where you going?
Well look at this daddy he's eaten a whole bowlful of it
yeah
Whoops
someone must have been hungry, or you must like it
normally have a job to get one Weetabix down him, come on then one more spoonful
Yeah I think I 'm gon na change some of my videos
What do you mean?
oh alright, what about me if I want a film?
What?
What about me if I want a film?
Well the bloke still brings them round
there's some good films coming out
Ah?
There's some good films coming out
Yeah
I think My
yeah, yeah that's what I mean, you can have
My Left Foot is on
Oh no we 'll have er the videos that we're gon na watch you know I've got twenty odd videos there and we're not using any of them, apart from what's on the top, we're gradually filling these up
No, I think that's on in the week, My Left Foot
Yeah
it's erm
well I like watching some of these but I don't know
I don't know whether you'd like that or not, you might do, he got er, er, an Oscar for it, Daniel Day Lewis
Yeah, we've got all those videos there love and not got a thing on them
no, the music ones they can stay, they'd be alright in the future
Yeah
but
maybe doesn't really interest me you gon na get dressed or something or
Ah?
Gon na get dressed?
you make me feel cold sitting there with no t-shirt on, er oh big bowlful of breakfast you 'll go pop, you do it yourself?
Yeah so he don't get his knees cold
Yeah so he can play on the floor
Yeah
They did it, they did it
Who?
I didn't do it
No where's his clothes then daddy?
Er?
So where's his clothes?
I don't know, bring any down
Oh, give him the sack or what
down here sexy
Pardon?
they're usually down here
No they're not no come on we 'll have the lid off that thank you, you can go down, mummy can get you some clothes to wear oh
What?
Boo want your dummy to suck do you?
You don't wan na give him any of that, throw it all over him yeah, this is what your going to wear today, yep er oh I didn't bring any socks did I?
I your mother's useless she is, she's
er come on porridge chops ooh, that's a wet one in n it?
Oh dear is it worth it?
Oh dear
we are in trouble that you
again, won't I?
never dry
No they wouldn't would they, when the weather cheers up ah mate?
Sorry got some money in there, OK oh do your ballerina bit, we 'll have to wash your face, yeah it's filthy, filthy face, breakfast face oh that's that new twins isn't it?
Yeah
What, what ah
ha
Come on no where you going, trying to stand up, no don't you try to pull this off, trying to make this one come undone wow, oh yes teddy, dad
you're like in
Ooh we, well he's so fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, so fine ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, he's so fine girl you ever wan na meet oh, oh, oh, oh, yo, oh, oh, oh, dance then rrrrrp petite the finest girl you ever wan na meet try for, die for it's all fine she's really sweet the finest girl you ever wan na meet die for, so sweet, oh, oh, right oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Look at this
Reap petit the finest girl what in
here
let me
night, bless mummy and dad die for, sweet for she's got what it takes, she's everything that the boy really rate, oh cutie, my tooty fruity, my heart, my love she's oh, oh right, she's got just what it takes, she's got what it takes and with a boogy, really, really rates, oh, oh, oh, oh, yo, oh, oh, oh rrrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wan na meet rrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wan na meet rrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wan na meet
What you doing?
Oh look at that weather
In for the day that is
Da
That's your face you have a bath tonight, you want those feet, go on then go and get them, go get them Floyd
going backwards, you said forward, got to get it forward, one, two, three, four one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four
Shall mummy go and find you some socks?
Oh, just about go to the loo
What you doing?
What you doing?
Ah?
Do you want a drop more milk, eh?
Yeah, do you want any breakfast?
No, that 'll do for now thanks love
yeah
is that a brunch?
Have a breakfast for lunch sort of thing
Oh
I 'll see how I am, I 'll get him some socks, watch him ugh
yeah
and waste him
Oh Just had to go to the toilet didn't I?
No
Yeah, right that's
oh yeah
I wanted to see
see the jump, you didn't put his teddies up last night
Yeah, I know
Oh I didn't realise
he's alright
Is he OK?
Yeah
what, that mobile up in there can't we?
What mobile?
That teddy bear one that can go there
Yeah, you looking at daddy's feet, I 'll get his erm, his cot in here now
Yeah, do you wan na find that beef and that
oh yeah
what would you like to slot that in?
I've forgotten the bowl, ugh, oh dear
oh dear
yeah are we regurgitating mate?
Yeah it does a bit don't it?
Hello, thank you, er, er, er, er ah there
teddy
Water's in the tank?
Sorry
oh, erm ah There we are then boy I got you, you doing now?
That's something different for you ain't it?
Ah?
Come on then, way up
Right, I 'm going upstairs now
OK
paint
with the doors, OK?
In fact I 'm taller than the doors
Oh alright
Where are you going?
Too long
Too long, I said it would be
That's a shame
You make a tea?
Yeah
Come on then, you can't sit back there, ooh oh you wan na stand up then, come on then, come on ooh, go on then, we 'll go and see daddy, come on then come on then, come on then, come on move it move it, come on move your foot, over there I think come on then, come on, oh rrrm, rrrm, rrrm, rrrm, rrrm, who's that?
Say daddy
Oh hello
come on then, rrrm, rrrm, run
what you doing mate?
Ah?
come on, he don't like to swing his legs very much he does the whole body
Mind the flower behind you
Yeah, it's alright I 'm giving up now anyway
Who's a clever boy, ah, who's a clever boy?
You are ain't you mate clever boy
Oh, er, he wants some medicine
are you clever boy ain't you?
Oh you're kicking baby, he really clings on here now, don't he?
Yeah
Shall I give you a drop of medicine?
Way up, here would you like to
in the steriliser please he's ooh it's turn on tap right it's your medicine
the spoon's on the towel, oh
Oh
dad is incompetent
tastes like custard,
Does it?
don't it?
Yeah
oh yeah
Are you sticking your tongue out at daddy are you?
Yes here I am lift him, so erm yeah so you just do a grey and the green
Well I can
first
yeah
cos as I say got enough
Enough what?
Erm rooms through there
Oh room above above the
Yes, so what I 'll do is
I should think you will have
What I 'll do darling is that all the tiles will come through about there
I mean if you did to the edge of the bath
I 'll leave that gap there and I 'll crossed out six, eight tiles there, OK?
Yeah, fine
and then er when you do grab a
we 'll put something there, what most of the tiles on
Yeah, fine
say about eight tiles
Yeah
over the area
Oh, good idea, oh
if anybody asks, I thought I know
put cupboard there
Yeah
another way, you might have to rip off three or four whatever, four or five maybe
Well, yeah
better than not being able to afford to do it at the moment,
Yeah hello baby, you 'll go floppy backwards, you will, shake your head at me oh right mm ah
Has he had a wash?
Sorry, no, you OK?
Who's coming?
What are you doing?
Me?
No Peter, no, no, come this way come and see mummy, come on, come on come on come on, what you shaking your head for, you not gon na come?
Peter come on you do your acrobatics this way Can you hear what they're saying?
No
conception where and when was it?
Here are mine, don't put them in your mouth
why, are they
I didn't see that, sorry oh useless the things they
on here
ooh, what have you got Peter, mummy's got it now ha, ha, ha, ha you're not bothered then, don't bother him, put it back on the bottle
Right
no I think I can go over there now, thank you, here are look what about this?
Pardon?
I mean that was really, really turn that didn't you, you went to the other side and turn it over your
come on then foot's to, yeah a bit of an adjustment I think you need you're funny, you are, come on then come on then, right, hold that, you 'll finish off the carpet anyway, here are then,
ta, ta where you gone?
Where you gone?
Come on you can roll over, here are, come on you can roll over
you gon na sit up?
Sit up then, you sit up?
Go on then sit up
no, you sit up, go on then, oh I did, pulled his arm see what he does, the old tongue hanging out, what you doing?
His legs are getting a lot stronger now
Yeah
cos when you, he, he flexes them, you trying to change his nap, bend his knee or something you can't
No
no,
oh dear
Ha, his new noise obviously, your new noise?
Debbie's boys
aren't you?
No
You're also on the move
Yeah
take
for that now, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes Peter, yes, yes
Quite a strong lad
when he grabs a thing, he really goes
it really, don't you?
Ah?
Very intent he is what's your dad doing?
Is he pulling faces at you?
How are you
are you getting bored now are you?
Sorry
Oh I
well you've had more sleep than I have
oh
sometimes did you have?
Ah not gon na have to many, I 'll take it nice and steady, yeah I bet you
I had a Yorkshire, can't even get a
I had a Yorkshire at half past seven then I had another one at eight
Yeah, are you listening to him
I had another at ten to eight
yeah are you listening to him
and then I had another one at half past eight, that was three, I had another pint at about another three more
Yeah, we know we've been there before haven't we?
We have, who's we were?
What pissed?
Ah?
when I was first pregnant, cos I didn't realize I was pregnant
Yeah, you might end up seeing
he might
No I don't think so ah no not in front of me thank you
let him take them off
Oh god, oh disgusting creature, don't go near him either poo, mm, nice and smell erm boy, you wait until you get a whiff of it
feet, don't he?
Yeah
Cos every move we see him go
who his one?
no, oh, I won't be able to go outside though will I?
I 'll do it
What go up a ladder?
Have me hand outside
Mm
Ha, ha, thank you Peter, oh that's the biggest ice cream to
His mother buys him ice cream
Yeah
I'd expect Tracy would want one, don't you queue up
Do you want one dear?
Do you want one?
Yeah
Dinner's at two
ninety nine
Pass
I don't want it down there
That was quick
, never mind
she did
Yeah
Two ice creams
Yeah, get you a small one and all babe
I 'm going to bed now
Aaagh I wouldn't touch those Peter, oh no aaagh, aaagh god put them away he's gotten your feet tickled
Yeah
Oh, ho
pervert you
What do you mean pervert?
Oh
He's
He's
I think he's trying to eat your toes
Errup
Yeah
Oh dear oh er imagine that ah
You don't really want to stuff that in your gob mate
Yeah, he would, I suppose he's been eating his own toes all day
Yeah you've had a look upstairs?
Yeah
What you reckon?
Alright it's alright
Testing, testing, one, two, three, four, sorry?
You
OK then, I 'll put this in the bedroom then, not that it's not really draughty
Only a bit, that wants a wash don't it, you can have a bath
The packets there, what's that for?
Oh
How are you?
Oh a lot better today
Come on then come, do you like doing it?
Bouncing on my leg and then he gets up on
he holds himself on the sofa
Ooh aren't you clever?
Aren't you clever?
Oh you are, you are clever,
But him, he said oh well
And he said oh no
I told him if I
I ain't never get anything else for, when I go on holiday, but I said I don't even think we're never going on holiday, mind you,
Yeah
anyhow
but I 'm ever so pleased that she got her
So who needs
It's alright, could I
I mean you know you've
Yeah
had her there, when she said when Charles makes an old man, she said about erm, burning his
and so that, mum had asked
so I said the next best thing I said is ring Sarah and she said she'd already sent a gift, no have a conversation with her, is Lorraine coming today, no she said Terry's decorating never said where
I said well
Yeah
and er, so she said you know
so I said I thank you
oh they are, they're going to France
Yeah, I ain't said anything to her though
She ain't worth saying anything is she?
Aye
So is this
Yeah
But er, oh she said I
she said she ain't seen him since oh well before Christmas
Really?
then she said they've been down at the this time of year
Yeah, do you want some tea?
Yeah, why not.
He needed that
Come on then let's have a look at you, we don't want a
do we?
Oh he's alright.
yeah, er that 'll be nice to have you suck your dummy, don't we, ah?
Yeah mummy was poorly last night
I was only sick
Yeah
about ten past one, well I had indigestion all night and I could feel it, and we'd had our tea and I thought oh I don't know, but I went to bed feeling alright and suddenly I woke up I thought oh my god I 'm gon na be sick, I come running down stairs, but you know I was, I was sick but I know I hadn't finished and I'd sat down and I was sick three times.
Went to bed about two
I 'm standing like
said I overslept
Yeah yeah so we didn't get up till late this morning
I was thinking of going round the time, but I shall go this afternoon, it's
Did you feel alright this morning?
Yeah not too bad, a bit sort of groggy I think cos I was up
Yeah, right Rupert oh you shuffle round
the pains in the back of me head and down me shoulders
No
he's tried to
ain't he?
Yeah
I remember I had such a strain one, I just couldn't find it quick enough
Oh
it's just horrible
right
yeah, they 'll miserable them aren't they?
Yeah, it's good, sit and watch the television down here
I don't know
Oh I say I know my two and goodness
and she's never rung up and said anything about the shirts and trousers,
but it wouldn't hurt would it?
No
And daddy's been busy on your mum then has he darling?
Yeah
in that new room, oh
you don't want to shake your head, even I
Yeah
We 'll get everything sorted out this week, we 'll, we 'll move him at the weekend
Lovely
Yeah
Aren't you lucky?
You 'll have a big room all on your own, yes, a nice big room
Yeah, it's lovely.
The, sod of a paper though, it's horrible paper that Disney,
I didn't know how he got it up, it 's, it's only thin
What, thin?
I thought it would be
Yeah
If I'd
No, no, but yeah it was, it was awful paper, but I mean you'd got it up as long as you don't look too closely, it's got it's own, some of have
Can grandma have a look?
Can gran have a look?
Yes
Shall we go and have a look?
some of the joins have got to be touched up yet.
I 'll tell you what they've got in erm
erm lovely swingtop bins in PoundStretchers, er with Disney on for
Oh yeah
It's got deep red or green
right
I wondered if it
and it
Oh right.
let's go and have a look then, shall we?
You 'll have to take more and more film of him, then it's lovely when you look back on it
Yeah
and I 'll have Judy do it.
Has he
Yeah
Oh good
I think it's erm
I wasn't sure about it at the time
No
It looks nice
jumper, did you have a bit of a hot flush?
A bit warm this morning
Not been able to er
yeah
and I went to see the old chap, cos he's got the election
Oh were they?
I thought
Oh alright then pet, mummy's finished now, do his
fit him?
They're a little bit big
Oh well I've brought, I've got, there was a size under that
Yeah, but
but he 's, he's got a chubby foot
yeah, no they're a little bit big so, yeah they look nice though, he likes a bath
Good, oh
So I've put the
in, in his baby walk and he's sort of
he were ever so good and I was told about all these
and he told me about Thomas the Tank engine, everywhere we went
Ah
absolutely crazed on Thomas the Tank
really?
Cos then it's something that's done him good and it's learnt him to talk cos he's had Thomas erm
yeah
without putting it on.
Oh, well perhaps we 'll get him some of Thomas the Tank for his birthday then, if we've forgotten it, biscuit
Did you go swimming on Thursday?
Friday
Yeah
I've not seen them before
No
Nearly
I said to her did they
in there mind, I've bought you some chicken portions so when you're here next week you've got chicken portions
You're a happy little soul.
Has he lost a bit of weight?
Yeah, I have, of course he didn't really eat last week, especially
really for him, ain't you?
In fact it 'll help him chest wise won't it?
Yeah, he's a lot better, you can't hear it now.
Yeah, we've found something he likes for breakfast it's called Quakerwake, it's erm porridge with little bits of food in it
Oh lovely.
he eats a big bowlful.
It's good for him.
He likes that.
What you doing, cutting down a bit on his milk?
Yeah, I do him cows milk during the day, he has er two bottles of that cows milk and then he has a, a big bottle of formula milk at night, so
I brought him it, erm, a lunch box with a flask in, I said, look this flask you suck it like a straw, so get him to take that everywhere with him cos then he can have that, then he, cos you said you wanted to get him off the bottles, cos you put the straw in that
Yeah
yeah
time they've been round the floor and picked up again they're not that good are they?
No cos the health visitor, she, cos I asked her about sterilizing, and, and she said with all teats they should be sterilized no matter what age they are
Mm
so, they're so, they've got all nooks and crannies in them, you can get all sorts in them
yeah
apparently
it's only sixty P I think
it was Thomas the Tank, all Thomas books and you can get crayons to do with it
Yeah
so he had that out, he just crayoning a bit now
Oh is he?
Mm
That's good
I don't know whether I want
Except I
Let's zip your suit up dear
And when we spend
so I thought as soon as I can get to see her I 'll see if she 'll give Jim my, I thought an aran cardigan
Mm
cardigan
mm, I've got mum a nice cardigan
and Lucy said it fits him lovely, but she was saving all the blue clothes
Amy's three tomorrow, so she 'll give them to her tomorrow, she
so had the party in
So what's that
I say to Lee didn't you, you take on having her
it's alright when it's your own at the time because well it 's, it's different, when there's another one there, I mean it, it wears you out so
Thank you for them, thank you for
Ooh you are funny you are funny, yeah.
Couldn't believe any difference of him from Christmas when he didn't say anything
to know
to know, we don't say, had to talk to him through the Christmas presents it was lovely.
I wonder if, if that
I'd put that out with them two tapes and take to Julie to put them on a big tape for you.
Pat rung up and wanted me to fetch the dressing table on Tuesday night I said yeah alright I 'll do Wednes but I forgot I was going out with the girls Wednesday so I went out Tuesday and she wouldn't let me have it, cos Tuesdays they're not working in the kitchen
Really?
Oh god
wouldn't take her five minutes, so she sat
so I thought, I can help you lift them outside, no Tuesday night is my night in the kitchen.
I only got inside the front door cos it's Tuesday night her night in the kitchen, so I went back home and he didn't half swear at me, he said you bloody well go again you want your head tested, I could have cried I thought oh well cos I didn't feel like rushing around
I was telling them
so she said I said to her how much the old front
so I said put it down me
she stuck it outside
Well, you, oh
yeah but, you know, it's
and that a week before it happened, what's happened to her, cos she don't hear from her, and she said you know, I, it's been twenty five years since my mum died Anne, she said and if I didn't make a life,
would have come to me
No
she said and now I 'm finishing school I still need them sometimes for a meal and then I 'm going out in the W R V S shop, something like that in the chain,
yeah
then you don't need people
why nobody's going to buy
Sometimes you felt like saying
Yeah, yeah, well not if you ask, I mean if you ask somebody to come and help you
I think it would have took us
oh no, no,
and don't come too early she said
She's really gone funny ain't she?
She is unsettled.
I think if she hadn't gone away at Christmas she would have gone round the bend
would have been somebody a counsellor or something.
I mean he fancied having a day off to the anniversary of them dying, she had a day off then like she did at Christmas
and then, then a different one dies,
really think one of that didn't she?
Really
I mean she had plenty of warning it happening to her
yeah
couldn't tell Pat
Yeah
yeah I mean, she weren't that good with her when she was alive
No
I think it's guilty, that's what that is
Yeah, that's it
Yeah.
There's er, there's an organisation with erm, er voluntary, where they go and they talk to her
Cruse
Cruse, yeah Mrs went to
and then she began to open up didn't she?
Yeah
But you see she ain't a person you could say that to Ida is she?
No
I mean when, when, when she was home she could have spent the evening with us when all the children were there and joined in but she wouldn't, she cleared out back and that's how Julie heard
Yeah, yeah.
Well if she gets funny again just turn around and say Pat well I think you need some help.
I think Grace and
come in that day and she sat up the table with the boys and had a dish of
she said, I've got Jack's and mine dinner cooking she said we've got 'tatoe's with crust round today
Oh yeah
now I 'm having time with her.
I mean she loves it with the kids
Yeah
I found a frame now I ain't got
and I've got a frame big enough for Joseph
Oh yeah
shame, I still have a frame
No, I daren't tell her
Are you busy?
It is a lovely ball, are you busy?
Ah are you busy?
Yeah, I think you are,
had a stick of rock, yeah, aren't you lucky.
Don't forget April the first that's Uncle Tom's birthday, I knew that one, I never thought to say that, but
No, I, I knew it was some time but I just I remembered Louise's birthday because Louise's birthday was the Friday the thirteenth
And was she two?
No Louise she was, oh no two, six
And how is she?
She's alright yeah, well I, I bought her a book but it's one of these, it's like a talking book a Disney one, it's got like a keyboard down the side and you press certain pads and it makes a noise and I thought oh rather than just getting an ordinary book, I thought that would be quite good
Yeah
Yeah, but it's erm
Did she have a party or anything?
No, no
Different what a party makes
There there's a good boy
I was pleased that Sarah was trying to
like that in a way because I think my lens you know, know what we're going through
don't she?
Yeah
She
you couldn't hold a conversation she said with her,
said yes or no, of course that baffled Lynsey, cos Lynsey and Pat, you know they got talkative at first Pat told me
Bloody cheek, she
on the phone cos we only speak once a week, well I don't think
and that, so
Charles is very much like that on the phone, you can't get a conversation out of him
Well it's in the
it's when you go in there, you spend awful lot of funds sort of thing that's how much you feel
Yeah, yeah, you know used to phone up and you used to think well what have you phoned up for, cos you end up talking
Yeah
and talking
and she said if they didn't phone
they would never know they were alive, oh well.
Oh
One thing she won't be remembered for
no it's not
Well at least we say hello
We'd better get, what some of the old dears are up to
Oh yeah, I 'll go and see what she's doing
Playing with the bairn
Yeah he's
oh when I phoned up you,
Got a phone, you going to play with your own phone
He likes that one nan, what if you, pick up the phone and dial and start talking to somebody he sits there and he's in fits of laughter, he loves it.
I thought it was Ben yesterday afternoon I dropped Lynsey's thing in with Ben down there and it's Jack, I like John, I like to speak to John, so I said John I think it's Tommy for you, but then
he said no it's Jack, and he said
you know I 'm having a clear out and he promised him a tin
Might be from one of the holidays
Scarborough
That's
that's your
Yeah, when I come back, we
that the swimming pool was being filled up in the
Yeah
I expect it is warmer than
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, mummy jacuzzi 's, trouble is you get in there and you don't want to get out
I think we're gon na put erm erm the carpet, yeah put old carpet in his room, I don't want to, but
yeah, yeah
Erm, Joe's gone to Luton
Oh yeah, I think so.
Er, erm a Vax machine
he said no if you want one, I 'll get one and then he said Julie's work with Obart, works with the computers and works for Obart, like all the machines or something, when he comes in I said have you bought my hoover?
Bought a Vax, they said no they're a con don't worry, he said with a little bit of luck you 'll get one that 'll be free, you 'll have to give a report on it once a month, then about after nine months they give it to you if they thought
if I had to pay for it
I thought something like that would be quite handy to have
Yeah
I'd like my pink carpet up this year, cos after we had it down the electricity come and it's a bit bobbly this part, once you've got your
Yeah
Otherwise it's still wear it
yeah, it does
they will won't they?
it's not
they 'll have a go, they 'll have a go at anything now,
she was just a
she was walking round Saturday you know, I said look be careful cos you won't get your head through the door
No, but I think it's worth knowing
yeah
Is that your room done all upstairs nice and trendy?
Yeah
nice and clean in n it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah we was erm
That fire man has he came to do the gas fire yet then?
No not yet
But ain't it a
in the paper yesterday, and the couple
I know they've got three children, but
I can't see how they can move
they took out a mortgage from six years ago, about six years ago, sixty four thousand and they owe seventy three now
but I, he says he didn't, I mean, since she's had the chop, but between having the first and then having the twins, the second, she went back to work then at the Building Society, so she's got a cheaper mortgage, so why didn't they pay some off then?
They've been
with the mortgage didn't they?
stupid in n it?
He's got a company car so he don't have that
with that
no
oh my darling we're going to see dad now.
You're gon na see, go to bed one night so John see you.
I ain't seen that Smithy this week
well he did love his Christmas one
She ain't chucking up this time, he said
Yeah I will
That's hope the holiday does us good that's the washing machine
Is that going round?
Yes.
Some babies sit in front of them and go asleep
Oh
Oh yeah
What were you after?
Do you want them?
Yeah
Alright?
Got a lot of lights, good job we're not
Yeah
Peter Peter
Peter,
daddy hit you on the nut did he?
Ah ooh you want that bit of bread do you, ooh.
Ooh you want the remote control do you, ooh, tough titty no, thank you Peter
Are you going to eat your
get away from here, I can't see for the flaming
Oh yeah, yeah sorry
You've got some mate, don't worry Mm, lovely bread mm, mm, mm Mum thinks the decoration it's lovely, she said tell him you've done a really good job, shush
See that Peter
yeah, she thinks it's great
good boy
Yeah, he's feeling a lot better today as well
er?
feeding much better today
Oh was he?
Yeah
I 'll suspect get it by the time they go
Oh that's clever, me
that
Yeah
say about badge's
Well at least they're doing something about it
yeah
for once
for the environment,
Yeah
I come home a little bit earlier tonight
yeah
get that room finished now I've wallpapered
right
it 'll take a while try and get the border thing across
Mm
We got it
Well
done later
yeah I think
for now.
Please
Oh yeah
Seen this kid
Sorry
seen this kid
What's he doing?
look, quickly
what?
Peter, you don't shift
he was sucking it, he was doing something else, he go
oh yeah,
he'd got
wire mesh, cos I laughed at him he pulled it away and hit his head
Getting the cheeky side out of him now
yeah it is
Well mate you a cheeky little bugger are you? great ain't you?
to you
Ta
Where the ear plug?
Hurt me arm
Who the cat?
Tough
Why couldn't they come on Friday?
What you got me then?
don't go in the cupboard
and er
were twenty nine, ninety nine but reduced to nineteen
What happened to my shirt I was supposed to be getting
You said you didn't want it
There
By the time you went to work
yeah
I 'm not paying twenty quid for a shirt so you can wear to work
what shirt, like this, warm
I thought you meant the, the
mustard shirt
yeah
Your suppose to chew it, yeah your supposed to chew it, alright I 'll save for it
I won't ruin it cos they've covered anyway, these aren't ruined.
I only got, I only ruined me other one cos when, when it,
getting ruined, yeah get
No I was gon na ask you for a lift down town, but er
Probably wet actually
sorry
on the floor ain't it?
don't know
that's a
sat on the bench, leg up
yeah
I
I 'm tired, he's just playing, here you are
He
No
but he had the raffle off of er
Did he? probably knocked that off
No, he'd have a job to knock it off, it was left to er the word real thing
yeah I know.
I put the washing out but it isn't dried
really
it's ok, it's not as bad as it is now
I 'll be about upstairs
Come on
He isn't in there
Yeah
Oh is it that, that thing tonight?
Oh yeah
Done already come on then come on you've got your favourite here, apricot
It was alright for twenty quid
But I can't wear it
if you get on your diet
aaaah
you get back to what you were
get your figure, diet
and we can start going out together love you
I love you too alright love
There he is, there's dad
mm
got a
ain't he?
Oh he
very well at home
Who are them blokes bloody make a living then?
Don't know.
who support the families
they do, don't they
mm
you know what some people like
yeah and that, a lot of his old staff like Charles, or Debbie things like that the're all
I 'm paying them
Mm the're buying
out of me
yeah
he gets a company
yeah
so that makes it a bit worth while I suppose
yeah
oh why they
no I know, they have to wait that's it, got to be quite left in the shop today weren't we?
I don't particularly want to fork out a
no I know our one's just as good
Yeah, the only other place we've got Josephine's immersion
put that one on the market
I suppose
the thing is though, he 'll be walking and the other one still be in the pram, get that one out again
Ow, oh, oh, you've got all mummy's hair in your fingers, you do pull
he's laughing at you
yeah, great fun, shall mummy start pulling your hair like that, your evil, you really are, you know,
on me, wish
how much is that with the
how much is
that's two hundred pounds
I 'm pretty sure we're gon na get a hundred and fifty quid for it.
Er, we will, have you seen the
What
yeah
faded already
He's not invite sunshine
hello
names like sunshine either
oh that's nice, and it's bloody raining
yeah, if it is sunny, I was gon na chuck curtains in there so I mean it looks like it's gon na, five year old
Is it?
You can buy new covers for it but it 'll cost you about eighty quid
Oh stuff that
Glad I wasn't out in it
Now what saying with that, that 'll be used again when he is actually walking and doesn't need a pram and the other one's still toddelling
toddelling or whatever
yeah
yeah, this is like a buggy baby thing
yeah, the buggy obviously can stay up there, what I 'm saying when he's
yeah
whatever age, he want
Peter
he want, don't wan na be three, three years old he 'll still, he needs the buggy, then we can get that one back out again, you won't need a double one then will you?
No
or whatever age, four, five, whatever
yeah oh
Oh give us paper
What you looking at?
the Adams family's on
Come on you can go and sit back in there for two minutes, your just up to mischief out here, yeah, go on that's what you want don't, play with
Oh yeah World In Action eight thirty Anglia The Homeless People
Oh is that?
yeah, part two ain't it?
Righty-o, I 'm just going to get the washing in, shall I leave it out there until tomorrow?
I said I suppose he has just say
Yeah
has he
got no brains on him?
well his sort a, a regular time you know, you know from a, he 'll be here fairly early
it rain
rain like
sometimes it wasn't until about nine o'clock you know
yeah
mm, quite with it, you know, here's your tea
oh cheers
erm, I think
your bread for tea
who?
give them your bread, toast
I 'll cut it, look at the state of that
oh I can't cut, will you, if you see yesterday it was so squashy this bread, I couldn't cut it, I'd have a go
I know, yours lasted a week
but look
yes, alright, I, you 'll have to ban me from cutting your loaf, you 'll have to do it, you will.
I never was very good with bread mm I wasn't
you what sorry?
I never was very good cutting bread
there you go
Oh
it was still warm when I picked it up
well yes, squashy
yeah
it's very difficult to cut, I thought I did excellent, well actually
probably not oh make you another tea?
what
I do, I make that curry, I can freeze that
yeah yeah why a traditional English dinner tonight
oh you were, like what?
chop and chips
oh god, there's one pork chop in there you can have I think, that's have a look
chop and chips
see what I can find, I've got these out of Budgen's cos they were fifty nine P.
cor that's cheap
Yeah, that's what I thought, see what the're like, there's one porky chop, is there any in here do you know or not?
steak, a curry
erm
what about a pie?
do you want a pie?
No, means I 'll have to make it, er
soon get one out, in the week, can't we?
Sorry darling don't look as if there's any chops no we haven't just a lone pork chop, erm, I can do you oh I 'm gon na need some cider, sausage meat and pork casserole
no chops?
no one, one pork chop, a lone pork chop
Get some pork chop's then.
yeah
Where from though?
Do you want er pork and sausage meat casserole?
yeah
A bit more enthusiasm please
yeah
thank you right, oh dear, oh, got crushed no I don't know whether Ann will go to
this week, cos she's a, a bit pre-occupied with her holiday things, so she probably won't.
I don't know what he's got on special, so
say you've got
oh yeah I think so
one of them
you got anything special offer this week mate not that I've got any money to buy anything oh I haven't turned the grill right off
yeah, fine
oh, yeah ooh
there's a flower here somewhere?
which one, probably a daffodil actually
I don't know yeah
I think so they've shut, shut up since the rain haven't they?
yeah what they all did
mm
well we should of been out there watering them
mm
beforehand
plenty of other things to do do you want me to write your mother's day card?
You
mm, or are you gon na write erm?
Suppose I 'll have to put them both with a five can always buy her a plant or some or a box of chocolate 's, oh sorry Melvin brought you these, forgot you were on a diet
anything
oh oh dear I should think you could send every female relative possible a mother's day card
yeah
it's ridiculous
very
with my mothers
yeah I know, but I mean they've got things like to my god mother,
have they?
to my sister and things like that
mine just says happy mothers day
mm it's ridiculous
that's what my brother wants it's father's day
mm
come to think of it I don't think I bought me dad one for father's day
yes you did got him a card and a pair of socks
did we?
mm, what time was it, in June?
oh I'd better get one for her then.
my first, take to market
oh yeah how long they last?
yeah
not very long cos mine never
well yours are different
were they?
Oh yeah those are different ones aren't they?
yeah, cost a pound
mm
yeah
what the kids like?
Oh went on them, that was with them yesterday, Aaron he went off
the other one's called Peter?
sorry
the other one's called Peter?
I didn't see him
oh, the old boy
oh, I think this is the older boy
fancy got a boy called Peter
well their youngest one was
one that run off?
no Aaron was the one that run off
oh
I think Peter was at erm play school because they go to play school two afternoon's a week
oh yeah
mm, so then I saw her last Tuesday or whenever she told me
oh
mm, oh yeah, I think he's over two
oh yeah
yeah cos er, yeah he must be two and a half, cos er
play school won't accept them
er Stella left er, when he was six month's old
yeah
Are you gon na have any paste or not?
no
oh I 'm gon na switch this, turn the grill off
it is off
no I said I haven't switched the grill off fully
oh
you said oh, alright see
waste of gas
no not much
get that
like your mother's
I don't think so, do you?
three bills, my money's flaming
well that 'll teach them won't it?
Now they've got the bloody nerve to charge us half when we live there I don't think she'd dare say anything to me about it.
No, no need to charge us half
yeah
we weren't even having the bloody gas heater on during the day
no, we're allowed to light a coal fire weren't we?
Yeah, that was it
She's having fun then going out into a home next, that 'll be his fault
yeah
I bet his took
most of it, yeah
oh
that
dad's down Dover all the time
yeah, and your mother having the central heating on
mother with the central heating on
cooking everybody
central heating was the gas fire, they
but she now don't, definitely don't
no
simply
no
unless it 's, it's literally off
oh that wouldn't be switched on yet
no not yet
See these socks that she bought for Jade
mum did
yeah
gave them to Jade
gave them to Jade?
these little girl socks
postman pat the're boys
I know, that's a bit more girlie but not much
the're boys ones
I know so she said will they fit Peter, I said oh yeah
He's got enough socks
yeah, mm, always nice to have some more, ridiculous in it?
It must be love, love, love
latest in the charts
is it?
yeah
oh god
the group's not even together any more, it's weird
oh
all in different groups
but I know there's a, a LP or something that's been brought out
yeah, combination album
yeah because I saw it advertised in Woolworth's yesterday I did
yeah
yeah oh oh bloody washing's not gon na dry, oh how was the fire last night, we forgot about it didn't we?
Yeah
shit
that was in your house dear
what it
see how easily put off you can be how easily distracted you can be
I was wall papering with that
no it wasn't oh it's lovely and dry, lovely
there you go take them
no leave them in here for now
yeah, never get done
you cheeky sod, never get's done, bloody hell
actually they've dried up quite well, they seemed to of dried up
we 'll see, they've been outside a little while, so
the're not being, quite wet still
I know though, well it was very damp yesterday wasn't it, so?
Yeah
I 'll put this bean bag in back in his cover
Put a load of socks and pants, a lot of socks and pants
ah, that's a
I don't know whether to put them outside or not
better try
I don't, don't know
perhaps
I know, but, it's sort of
on the mind don't they?
That's it er give us something and I 'll put it in well try to put it in might get in there
Is that all I have to do?
Joanne, none of this dry you said?
it's like trying to put a quart in a pint pot gon na dry them, it's dry, manage to get it in, it's awful
The chair shouldn't take up much room
oh my that 'll be
perhaps that one can dry, all shirts
I 'll see how the weather goes I mean I might hang it out I don't know.
What after me doing all that?
Oh dear, I do feel sorry for you having to do all that
I did all that and you're gon na hang it out on the line.
Well I said I might, I said I haven't, I've not decided yet
miss that one
shut up
what, getting tinky on me?
I 'm not getting tinky on you
good
Melvin
It's me
did you bring your dish down?
yeah
Are you sure?
No, I believe you
ok, if you don't believe me
I believe you, I just, asked
that's why you said are you sure?
I know what you're like
Jade stop it
What?
What?
you didn't have to bit on my knee
I was, I was hungry
no, I said have some toast and told you
ah I wasn't having some toast
oh god, mm, mm, mm
get out of it
what
yeah, highlight of my morning
get my rod out
your rod?
mm ooh that beer smells it does, you made a new lot didn't you?
yeah
that
yeah
don't normally stays up like that
doesn't it?
No well, well, would it
mm, sorry, I still haven't got any elastic, I meant to get some elastic for that bloody trousers, oh oh I've got to order dad some trainers I think, I might have a bath
should think so an all
, your fault not mine
you, I'd better send that off to Ben
er?
I send that to Ben, oh if I do it now you can post it for me couldn't you?
Yeah, if you hurry up
You haven't been a toilet yet, in teach of habit
I'd try to go before I kept going to the public one's
oh, oh Tiny, I'd thought you'd finished I don't mind paying ninety nine P for these, because they, so much goes towards
charity
charity
yeah, but then you pay about three quid
my, I told you that mother's day one was one ninety nine
get double
what?
nothing, ah, ah, ah, ya yeah I 'll finish off that wall papering tonight
I do you spell village?
I think I've spelt village wrong
V, I, double L, A, G, E
I've put villiage oh there's obviously a word oh silly woman yeah Well where's the sunshine? mm oh I suppose I 'll have erm, doing.
When?
Thing is, I was take John motor back up weren't I?
Came about half ten, so I don't know what time I went down the Rave 's, be that time.
I suppose that's the only time he could go, you know
get ready
get ready, yeah, I was gon na say something to you
well couldn't of been that important
erm no it couldn't of been that important
come on then
I can't think what
oh, I don't know
I was gon na say
got to go
oh, I've forgotten, you know my brain leaves me at the most important time, don't forget to post that will you?
no
he's birthday yesterday
oh I see, our electric one again, our gas was
telephone bill, it's all paid as well, yeah
Did you put down my fuel bill for last month?
No, did you write a cheque out?
Yeah
it would of gone down then
good, that's this month's one, have I got that
Oh no, I had receipts on it
You had them then, yeah in an envelope, yeah, now if you write a cheque out for us, it goes down my dear, yeah when will I get my wages?
Er, yeah being your secretary
ha, ha
oh do you want me to post that letter?
To that, that company
er, yeah you can do
I think it 'll have to go down to the post office, I've write to Diane now
don't forget to cross out the er
proprietor
proprietor
no problem, do that then, and then I 'll er, I 'll hoover up, and go and have a bath
Er?
popped in to see Peter?
Yeah, he's lying flat
on his front, yeah, that's how he was asleep last night
was it?
That's how he was
his leg was sticking out of er cover's last night, that 's, tucked his leg back in got everything?
yeah
good
feel for a round thing
small round thing
yeah, small round thing at the moment.
You probably told me last night but I can't remember, I was just off
Well you tell a bloke you won't get it while you're until the end of next week, cos I 'm doing a bloke's spitfire, I ain't pissing around doing a flaming grill
yeah
you know, your problem then in n it?
I'd
put phone down
oh dear
done a few panels
yeah
I shall rub it down tomorrow, it really cheesed me right off, I thought thanks a lot dad, I, I need a guide
yeah
book, I haven't got one, yeah I've got an I C I guide book
yeah
but it's not compatible, virtually the same but, but, the, the coat, primers and the, it's all, they're all called different, it's all different
yeah
you know
haven't they got a coloured book then?
Oh look, that's Roger
yes
Roger driving that
Yes, they're closing that
I told you it would
yeah Roger's been on telly
they 'll make er they 'll make er what's names out of that, er
Units
units out of that
yeah
good job I did leave weren't it?
yeah
I knew it would close
yeah
it was so obvious, cos they weren't spending no money on it, the place was in a right state
yeah
eh you like that don't you?
I put a wing on that car
Did you?
yep
It hasn't gone two yet, you haven't?
You haven't
me
phew, what's that cooking?
Oh sorry
Can't you smell it?
Can't you smell it?
no, they have got, I mean I would of finished it if I didn't have to mess around with that car
yeah
ah?
You should of finished it then
No, well I had to do the car first didn't I?
Yeah I'd considered buying it and all that, you know it don't take five minutes you know, and I took it for a test drive
yeah
er just down Water Road and back up again, and I talked to them, er, I see, I phone you and Stuart come in this morning
yeah
done a financial and er my er, this afternoon I had a guy come in with a Capri, bloody welding that thing needs doing, I don't think he 'll get it done, so I was, I was
nearly half an hour
yeah
oh thank you, I don't think I 'll get that, too much for it and I got the guy I went out to see Lee he came in
yeah
I said to him, my missus knows you
I don't know him this is bad as
but er, who she then?
I said er Lisa, so Alan, oh yeah, Charlie, I said that's right, yeah
No, he started off with
only small you know
yeah, so anyway erm, he bought the car in to tell me that, garage down here, five hundred and forty eight pound labour right and that was put on another wing, save repairing the wing, put a new on, so what I did with mine is, I put on a new wing, right, and reduced the labour by sixty five quid to four hundred and five, I make plenty on the parts
yeah
I will, see he probably hasn't got as good as discount as me, so
yeah
five hundred and for,
so have you got the job?
He want's us to do it, apparently he's been recommended to me, I
yeah
oh yeah, my that's good
yeah it is
so er that's a sprayed bonnet, a brand new bonnet, spraying it
yeah
with primer on, spraying inside and the outside, taking off both the wings and bump bit where the bonnet goes on to the slam pan, got ta take the er the wings out, I mean the, the lights out anyway.
yeah
We 'll take them out and throw them away and that's all within the maker of the er, of the wings, er take them out, throw them away, er take the bumper off, throw that away, right, get a new number plate, a new bumper right cos the bumper's got to come off anyway with the wings
yeah
there's no extra labour, I normally charge about a hundred and thirty pound for each wing, that's two hundred and sixty er eighty pound for the bonnet, well about a hundred pound for the bonnet, that's three hundred and sixty then er, forty five quid for the slam pan, that's it
cut it all away, be off and done, about three days work
what they charge for
four hundred and thirty quid, he said bloody hell, so what I said to him is, I know you're gon na need a car, what I 'll do is er, I 'll get to work, I 'll put it, I 'll bring the car, you bring the car in beginning of the month, next month, right, said I won't be able to guarantee that I 'll get it done in a week cos I've got other work booked in, but I 'll have it in here which means I 'll be able to do work to your car, right, and it's better me being able to do that, then it, it's sitting out outside your house and nobody touching it for a couple of weeks, now, I might have it for a couple of weeks, see and I 'll be able to do it in my own leisurely time then
yeah
yeah, I work on these other cars and I 'll be able to do that in the meantime
he, what did he say about that?
Yeah he says oh that's great, yeah that's fine, so I 'll have to get it in soon because I won't be able to get him in till about
for six months, yeah
oh dear, a, alright for
ha
plus I 'm gon na send the bill off to Angie
yeah
so hopefully she 'll give me a cheque next week he doesn't get frightened so easily now does he?
No
Yeah ooh, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh ah baby, good boy, a peep bows oh oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, yeah, ah, ah, ah
Had a go with the toilet door
I yeah, you done a bit today, you haven't worn out the bed have you?
yes
great, painting your bed
she's painting
yeah, your mother mate, I
oh dear, that fire is getting a bit cold now ain't it?
yeah,
it's nice a day then
yeah
or whatever
Right, bit of muck weren't it?
Bath tomorrow, leave you one tonight yeah
Ooh
Gon na get you ready for bed?
Yep
ah, yeah
oh, you're right
come on then big wey
good night then Peter
hand paper
some more paper this afternoon
done it, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, tell daddy what you did this afternoon
the carpet Some people Yeah, we're gon na see the doctor tomorrow, yeah, mum's got to have a check up, yeah no, no point in it really
New pot
yeah, we 'll have to be there about two minutes four
why's that?
so that I can be wee'd and weighed, if that's alright
yeah
Hurray, oh, er, no poo I don't believe it, hurray, done loads of them today haven't you?
Well I won't lose much money on this Sierra about a hundred quid
Yeah I can believe it, there, there, well she said, they've taken their teeth
oh yeah but, no, it's a bit of dark room, it 'll be alright once I've done this
yeah
what I 'll probably do is take you out for a little while so you can go up and see Annie and all that, next week, not only a
and that 'll enable me to get on doing what I've got to do with spitfire and everything, spit spitfire's fine, I 'll get that in
I 'll erm, erm I'd get insurance
hadn't I?
Yeah, well you can drive the Yugo for a little while until I get that done, I 'll drive the Sierra, if you want
Yeah
well I've got to check my insurance as well, let them know
paying through the business, company will get tax relief on that see, cos I am the boss, not like er I 'm an employer, different.
Come on you, ooh, come on, he loves watching his dad
what, oh look at these
oh dear, come here ooh, these are hard shape ain't they boy?
Never mind
Are they?
Yeah, it's not worth getting some, no send them through, 'jama's
What's this here?
I know I've looked
what?
yeah, what the prices of them?
They're one point eight G L Estate F reg, four thousand, two hundred, that's A B C D E, five year's difference, done four thousand, two hundred, two, eight hundred quid, well actually it 's, our cars worth over a grand if I'd sprayed it up and put it on the market
Ooh Peter, stop kicking
I'd get about twelve hundred for it, thirteen hundred
Paid them for it yet?
Go on, into here, mum I 'll go and make your bot, bot
If you had your own cat as they're very territorial animals, I mean if they could see them off.
Oh yeah.
And they wouldn't come in onto to a property.
A cat will make.
Yeah.
Don't get them out of there.
No, occasionally you get them in the garden but chase them off.
No.
There was something, you know
.
Aha!
Is that all it is?
I thought it was later that!
Yeah, I thought it was!
How many more of those blank tapes you got ta go through?
Have you recorded Diane yet?
Er oh yeah.
Yeah Diane and.
Only done her once?
Yeah yeah.
Did she know?
Mhm?
Why shouldn't she know?
Well she was.
It isn't fair.
Half the time I keep forgetting to switch it on!
By the time to get it, switch it on, you think oh, it's gon na be too obvious!
Can't it.
Get Ann.
now really.
What?
Sorry?
Want a drink?
Hello love!
Ha!
The tape people are collecting on Friday.
Yeah.
What do you think of this club?
Oh cos I 'm going up to the doctors as you know.
I shan't be long there.
Why?
Got the..
Oh.
Er and then I 'm meeting Diane at your mum 's.
Oh yeah.
Yeah!
Then she's gon na bring me home.
And then I thought, oh I've got ta go down to the town haven't I?
Said I'd perhaps leave Peter there with them while I go shopping.
Perhaps you can run me back?
Taking, taking mum with you?
Well it's nice of Diane though, to offer to.
When they bring that other car back, what we 'll have to do to park
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah?
is like he doesn't bother to reverse up, so he's got stuck doing that!
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
You know where the Orion is?
It's there.
Yeah.
The Sierra's that side of the well he's put the Sierra furthest away trying to get you to go round here.
Leave the Sierra out here and go round this way.
Aha.
You're right actually.
But, because of you were running late you see, it harasses.
Twenty to five!
!
he didn't buy any stuff for your.
Oh, I suppose I better go and do that ironing!.
Have you dusted round here?
Yeah!
.
That bloke little dairy bloke died!
No.
No, it's ma, makes his job a bit easier down here, more worthwhile I should say.
Mm.
And a bit of fun.
And he got an Astra.
This bloke's Astra cos that's our late night.
Mm.
The Astra.
. Yeah that's the only way I can see it trying to use those and have them back on Friday..
Yeah.
No.
They've opened next door..
.
The old boy with the Capri van service thing whoever he is!
Has he?
Yeah, he's in hospital.
What's the matter with him?
Well I told you, he was taken away!
Well, yeah, Michelle told me.
What did they take him away for, because he's gone?
Yeah, that's it.
.
Yeah they are.
Cos you were saying about that Golf.
?
No there 'll be two.
Ever since erm mum died, that was the start.
He's lonely!
I think, it's better in the house.
No.
no.
I said oh I was so cross!
I said how would they like to be like that, all the time!
Yeah.
I said they won't bloody lock you up! a dog like that!
It's not a natural dog.
They can't handle it.
No.
It's a pet.
A family.
Definitely!
!
Is it?
Knee high!
Running about!
It must be bored stiff!
Oh yeah, it's only knee high!
I've never seen it.
Terrible!
I saw it once.
That's when it jumped up cos the owner came out to give it some grub.
Jesus,!
Yeah.
.
Disgusting!
Is she taking him out again?
Yeah.
Terrible!
That's why I was.
About a dog.
But it's not fair to the animal, to keep it!
I mean why do they
It ain't!
bother to keep it?
Ay?
What number was that place?
Yeah.
They was having a complaint.
Yeah.
Complain.
Better they won't do anything!
Yeah.
Well, in that case I 'm gon na do something about it love that Cos I ain't having no dog there yapping all, a, while I 'm out there!
Go round and see them.
People like that ain't got no brains anyway!
I think it's a bit too much really!
I mean i, if it was more content it wo, would be better.
Ooh yeah, if the
If it had been out for a walk or you know?
Or
Yeah.
was allowed to go inside.
.
One died ay?
I wonder how long that one lives?
Du n no.
bloody dog!
Oh!
Oh, anyway
Come on away!
Leave your mum in peace!
Talk to me, here are talk to me.
Here are, what's this?
Oh and I've got the ain't I?
Yeah you sit playing there.
Oh dear!
Go in, and while you're on the phone.
Got a.
Oh, that's good!
That's pleased me!
Why do I get off the train oh yeah!
Yeah, and you 'll
I've got ta pick Ben up from casualty.
I think they're up here!
No it's not!
rich!.
What?
He 'll be rich when you get home!
Hi mum!
Is dad there?
Oh alright, he's not gon na
like this very much but I've got ta Ben
I know, in there!
to casualty!
Yeah!
Don't shout!
He's erm
now
he's been.
.
You should learn!
Yeah, they told me to phone you up,, they got ta bring him in.
I know.
He's not gon na wan na do it though is he?
Ah!
Yeah.
It's okay then, I 'm, I 'm at
Ah, ah!
my next door neighbours.
Ah!
Okay?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
I,.
I can get pregnant.
cut
Ah!
his head open!
Well not in.
Mm, cut their heads a bit open.
He managed before and yet each of the, I had to take him
Did he?
to hospital and he had
to have a stitch.
Here are then.
You doing the shape?
Yes.
My nice shapes.
Otherwise they might pressure me all the time.
Yeah don't you think?
Oh that's not bad is it?
No, oh, oh, oh, not not so bad!
No.
No, don't get that one, it's a red one that goes in there.
That, red ah
Red hole.
It can go in there.
That goes like that.
You.
Ah.
Oh alright, okay when you're ready.
In there.
Okay.
Goes in there.
I, I
I, I, Er, what about that one now?
That one goes in number two, doesn't it?
Okay thanks!
Er
Where's number two?
They were all in they were all on the side!
Which one's number two?
in the morning.
I went out to bring the washing in and he'd got them in his mouth!
That's two in, something goes in there.
Number one.
No.
Okay.
That's a red one.
Right thanks!
Bye!
Red one.
Yeah, in there.
Number two.
Right come on!
Granddad will be up here
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hopefully I should be having a car soon.
I know.
Come on!
You got ta go in Granpy's car.
Okay!
Okay!
You got ta take, you can't take him with you.
No, sorry!
In Gran In Granddad's car?
Come round another day and play with it.
.
Thanks.
It's alright.
I hope you get on alright?
.
Oh!
You 'll grow up, and one.
Right.
I should be having a car soon anyway.
Aha.
.
.
See you!
I hope you get on alright!
Car.
Want a hand with those seats?
I, I took them straight round.
Ha!. are you?.
Ay er!
There we are!
Good luck!
You didn't have a very long sleep did you?
He goes, well can you give us the er
Estimate back.
estimate back?
So you know.
I says er yeah alright then.
So I went looking for it and couldn't find it!
He says, can you post it to us?
I says, yeah alright then.
And I 'll post it to him.
Stuff it!
Mm.
They're going it!
That's why they want that!
Oh!
I were fuming!, ready to punch him I was!
We started arguing!
Hah!
Ha!
I think he was quite shocked actually!
You don't want one of them.
That's it.
, well the job's worth more than ninety quid, I said, I don't do it for ninety quid!
Go and shove it!
Mm.
I says, apart from which, mine was the lowest quote!
And you knock me down even further!
Ha, have we got that letter of?
No.
Oh!
Well it 'll been in on the table.
. Now then get you change!
Have a wee in a pot.
There.
Yeah, finish off while you're doing a.
Okay.
Went to my dad's workshop.
Yeah.
how to seal bits properly.
It's on a slant for some reason!
Bulky.
Mm.
Everything else looks perfect, just slant it's different to what it was before.
Put it down like that, it goes like that.
So you've got to pull it on just before put the seal on.
funny like to see how he did it.
Mm.
Like that way.
this morning!
Yeah?
Mm! as good as what he took to bed.
Mummy warmed up the porridge, and so did Peter.
Got it in his hair, all over his face!
Did he?
Yeah.
And when I went and got him up this morning his legs were out the bottom of the cot again!
And!
Urgh!!
Which means the same leg's hanging round.
And he got one arm out of his jamas!
Like
Yeah?
he'd done it!
Yeah.
Didn't you?
Mm.
So we've been up for some time cos the arms are wet where he'd been sucking it!
Hadn't it?
I saw him this morning and he were doing press up!
.
Ah!
Bit of crust for you boy!
Oh, mummy needed that!
Yeah, nice sandwich!
Woh!
Lovely! scrambled eggs and bread.
Has he?
He eat a whole dish full!
Oh I know!
Decided not to your little help.
Little podger!
Well I need to be doing more!
Oh yeah.
Well he did about three laps of the lounge this morning.
Didn't you?
Oh lovely!
Yeah, that girl was saying, apparently there used to be glass in front of that there there used to be a glass cabinet attached to the wall there.
Oh!
Yeah!
?
Du n no, I mean there's been nothing like that in here.
Said it was all gone when we came in!
She said, well they must of took it all out!
You can tell there was something there.
Yeah.
I think well we knew there was something there because erm I think you can tell.
She said well he took it for the glass.
The council.
Yeah.
They're all bastards!
Yeah.
Bunch of plankers!
Aha ha!
Yeah, they've stripped this house!
Yeah.
Whatever's left here, they've stripped it!
Well they didn't take the gas fire did they?
No, that's cos it's old clapped out thing!
Yeah.
I see it's been disconnected as though somebody was gon na take it.
They always disconnect them.
Mm.
Like they did to my house, that was disconnected.
Yeah I know, but if it's council, but they got that
Gas board gas board.
Yeah.
Yep give them a fiver.
So he's gon na leave the gas fire.
Hey!
There were glass up there ay?
Yeah.
Bet it looked quite nice!
Yeah.
Did you tell her how we're getting on?
Yeah..
Oh! mummy!
You finish it off!
Is there?
Mhm mm!
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
I am!
Mum mummy I want yeah, No, no!
No, no!
Mm.
Nana!
Mum
They really wanted the damn work on that car!
Does it?
Yeah.
No, it's just something!
Yeah.
I can pick them up pretty cheap anyway.
Sorry?
Pick them up pretty cheap.
Oh right!
Oh!
Did you get your?
I, I 'm.
I 'm gon na find out how much rear seat belts are.
Yeah.
Brand new ones.
I think you can get them pretty cheap, can't you?
Should be able to.
They're not like er
a front one are they?
Yeah.
Cos they've got ta be pretty, definitely need them.
For kids.
That seat in there, does that fit facing the driver or facing the front of the passenger rear?
Facing front.
Ba!
They do.
Go on the front seat.
Oh just keep fitted in the back.
Yeah, that's where it needs fitting.
Oh yeah, I won't fit it in the front!
No!
Yeah I know!
So we can sit in the front then.
Yeah.
Oh ah! oh ah!
Ah!
You haven't got the wallpaper?
Sorry?
Have you got the wallpaper?
Gon na have a go at it?
Yeah.
No.
Are you gon na try and get the plumbers out?
No I 'm not.
Oh!
.
I got some.
Have you actually wallpapered now then?
Er yeah, we've nearly finished.
Oh great!
Yeah, it's brilliant!
Good!
Have you made it look nice!
Er no Cos it's up like patterned on the on like, two walls and then we've got like like a balloon different balloon erm wallpaper
Yeah.
And some of it's gone up alright, but he put a couple of strips up last night and it all bubbled and then he I heard him this morning shwooh!
And ripped it off the wall!
Yeah, well if it bubbles, it's only air, you could prick it with a stick!
Yeah but, no you see the wallpaper actually stretched!
Oh has it?
So I think when it
How, how does he get on wallpapering, alright?
Alright, yeah!
I don't seem to worry about things.
He did it once before
Oh!
You know,?
And it won't go round the corners!
So I said well you don't go round corners!
Oh, no, no it won't stick properly!
Oh,!
So I haven't
and it putting down properly, it will go round corners!
Rather than catching it!
But I mean, no, he's done alright!
But er I mean I 'm not you know, there to criticise him
I know, If I can bloody do it so that's that!
Yeah.
Otherwise you 'll find you 'll do it yourself!
Well I did all the paint work.
Yeah.
All the glossing and that and er he's done the wallpapering.
Mm.
So, that was good!
Listening to them, I mean, they're so frightened.
Shall have get some more shouldn't we?
Well let's have
a walk up..
Oh yeah.
You're doing the splits young man!
Oh yeah!
Shall I go and sit him there, by the fire or He'd go out without the!
Well yeah, that's true enough with him!
So that's true enough!
Ha!
We, we made a will last night.
Did da, did Melvin tell you?
He said something about a will!
Oh, there's my car keys!
Had the.
I must have threw them away again!
Oh!
Do you often throw them away then?
Yeah!
If I, I 'll throw them away!
Cos I sort of tend to collect the sweety papers in the same pocket.
Aha.
It empties the pocket and I thought the car keys were in there, my car keys.
Oh.
And erm thrown, thrown them away, out of my pocket!
And I didn't think of looking there!
Had my car keys in there.
Silly mummy!
Yeah!
She's scatty!
Silly!
Ay?
Scatty batty!
Can I have that then?
I bought that along with me, just in case they were gon na.
I thought if it makes it growl only.
just a seat belt
Oh not much!
So you still see the midwife one week, and one come with?
Yeah, or it's up to you, you can use see that doctor all the time if you like.
And then they just leave it to you.
Do they?
Say, do you wan na see the doctor or the
Yeah.
midwife?
They al they do it alternate at our place.
Oh do they?
Yeah, one visit it's the midwife, so next it's the doctor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They weigh you every time?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, then you've got ta.
Are you alright?
And take you to
Well you've got four or five after the last time!
Wha ha!
Oh you've got ta
And!
to our ante-natal and I mean, they all get on.
It's good when you get on.
Yeah, you know.
And you doing it and sometimes I have to say, I 'm sorry about this but I 've, I 've, I 've, I've got ta go to the!
But
Yeah, and says and don't worry about that.
you 'll do it it all in one go!
My blood pressure's right down!
Because I
you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's alright then.
Yeah, that was alright.
So in the end though, I thought I'd daren't change in public!
Go round!
He said oi did you back on with it he says!
Peeking round like that!
Oh no!
I said alright, you don't need to rub it in I said, I know!
And I said I can't wait to go on a diet,!
Oh alright then and shut up!
He said I, he said I didn't offend you did I?
I said, no, she'd know if you've offended, he said, cos I 'm sure you'd say something!
He said, oh, you'd probably hit me!
Yeah.
So I said, yeah, that's right!
Did you?
Oh!
Yeah.
Oh let's go and
Hello!
sit in there.
Sit on a proper chair!
Yeah!
What does Kevin do?
Ah?
What does Kevin do?
What does he do?
What do you mean, work wise or
What does he do at home?
Oh he, well he potters around and goes slowly!
Like a bloody tortoise!
I told you I sat round there once and it took him an hour a whole hour, and I 'm, I 'm not exaggerating to fit or to put up half a sheet of wallpaper!
And it wasn't the full length of the wall because they got a dado rail it was half.
It took an hour!
One sheet?
One sheet!
I was getting so frustrated!
I was gon na say, Kevin, do you want me to do that?
I 'll do it!
I 'll put it up!
I was at eight months pregnant at the time.
You were?
Yeah.
When was that?
Last year!
Look dear!
Can't you remember that one?
Yeah.
It really did.
It took him ages!
Think I remember you telling me.
Yeah.
It 'll take him about three weeks to do the decorating in that house!
I mean,
What wallpapering you mean?
said.
Yeah, wallpapering.
The border, well I du n no about the bor.
Yeah, and she did see rather surprised that I'd finished one wall!
Bloody hell Melvin!
I know!
Yeah, well I didn't know what to say!
Just get on with it.
Yeah.
You know as quick as you can but do it as neat as you can.
Yeah.
You know?
I 'm just a bit pissed off with the way the wallpaper's hanging!
It appears to be the white stuff.
The plain one.
Cos it's I was good up to around the window.
Brilliant there!
From there it goes fucking shitty!
Then it goes good again!
So Weird!
.
I 'm changing paste anyway.
I 'm gon na try a different paste.
I should definitely take the paste down.
I know.
But I go for them cos of the bright yellow packaging!
Er, that was Solvite.
Solvite.
Solvite.
What you gon na have, the Polycell?
I had Polycell for this, yeah.
Yeah.
Try the
Do it well with Polycell!
Then it's buy again!
Ah!
Might make that.
Yeah I know!
Got to get some.
Mm.
Plenty of time for that.
Is preparation work boring?
Yep.
Hell of a lot!
Oh!
More than that one!
As plaster goes
I don't dare!
I reckon.
Oh well!
It won't.
What needs doing in the toilet downstairs to the ceiling?
You asked him to leave your on the
Put wood, put woodwork in there.
Oh, yeah.
Right, the paint need coming off.
Been painted a lot!
I know!
Peeling paint.
Peeling
You need to chip it
the corner.
off?
Yeah.
Scrape that off.
I think it might need burning off because if you leave it on it's gon na be a bit oddish!
I don't know if I artex, artex wood?
I don't know.
No..
If I could artex the wood, it's a lot easier cos all you've got ta do is just scrape it and leave it.
Scrape all the loose bits off.
I don't know what that wood 's, the wood's there for anyway!
It's part of the stairs!
Oh is it?
Yeah.
Part of the stairs.
houses aren't they?
Put up quick!
Oh I 'll have a toilet in there.
There's no room in there.
You 'll be, cos there's no television so there's no gon na need all these sockets!
All these sockets are added.
It has been wallpapered.
Since.
In here it has anyway.
Yeah.
Just upstairs I think.
That's if it had any sockets upstairs!
I'd like to know where they were.
Ones that they took out.
That a bit knotted!
Can't.
This is gon na be a hard room to decorate!
Wallpaper's gon na be stuck!
I would just paint over it.
No.
I 'll wallpaper it.
Oh! gon na need an ambulance, get bashed about!
To wallpaper it!
I don't mind if you don't!
Yeah, I don't mind this painted.
If the er what's gon na get damaged wallpaper wise?
Well, if somebody walks round with a pen or a pencil, or crayons.
That won't be just si, it's gon na be about a year or so's time!
Yeah I know!
So, I mean, what's the point of you know making it look really, really nice and you know, all you could is just slap a coat of paint over it!
Honestly, I think you'd be silly to decorate it!
Yeah, you reckon?
Yeah I really do.
Do it when they're older?
Yeah.
Then when we can choose you know?
I 'm painting the woodwork though!
Oh yeah, woodwork painted!
You know, change that to white.
You know, frames and skirting boards.
Oh yeah, do all the woodwork and that, but just paint, literally paint over the walls.
I mean it 'll be fresher cos the paper's not bad is it?
No, not really.
Then er really
I think it 'll be the best thing, you know, just in case you do get crayon and felt tip over the walls and that!
And then you haven't ruined wallpaper that you've gone out and bought especially.
Decorating that room though!
Oh yeah, decorate that and the hall.
Do that one next.
Yeah.
But I mean, this is gon na be like the family room so, I mean, it is gon na get knocked about a bit!
Yeah, that's gon na be our room!
Yeah.
You've done to there.
Well at the moment it's a dry room come tool room
Nellie the Elephant wooh ooh!
Want a cup of tea?
No thank you dear, I've just had one.
Okay then.
So how's John now?
Ay?
How's John now?
Got a shocking cold!
Oh has he?
if anything, without in it.
Eh ah!
Yeah, who is it?
It's Nellie the Elephant!
Do you usually read upside down?
Oh oh yes!
Anyway!
ain't got the farm baby animals on the farm.
They were so the cabbages at
Haven't?
at the er airport
place.
Oh the airport!
When we went to go to Alabama.
They've made it so lovely.
Yeah!
And when there was yes, she said and all over the place Texas like it.
Oh dear!
So I miss him, do you?
Yeah.
He was a big old
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
at the side.
I didn't know, thought it had been so built up.
Oh!
And that's the square in New Orleans, typical American in n it?
Yeah.
They were dancers in a shopping centre.
Oh really!
They were all gingerbreads weren't they?
Different countries.
Oh yeah.
Who's that?
That's us.
Ah ha ha!
And every and then every instrument on there every quarter of an hour the instruments all played!
Really!
It were lovely!
Ooh sorry!
Have we lost it?
Go for a different picture shall we?
All the albino crocodile.
Yeah they bite!
Yeah.
They bite at erm
alligators?
Alligator.
Alligators.
And they take them five in a nest and they were all er males, of course.
And they are every time we went.
white.
Ooh!
Ooh are they lions?
That one.
Ooh, a deer!
A baby deer!
And on the ta they only ta erm and then they won't let you photograph them, and so you have you have to just do it and
Well I suppose they'd charge you wouldn't they?
That's what they're probably doing.
That's Chicago.
The streets of Chicago.
City.
Yeah.
And that was the fall at Clear Water Bay.
And over here was the sea
Mm.
and it showed the dolphins were swimming
Oh really!
You could see all the dolphins out?
Oh yeah.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Aren't we taking any notice of you?
I 'm very sorry!
I know!
Yeah!
Aren't we taking any notice of you?
Well I 'm very sorry sir!
Let's find your pussy cat.
Nice pussy cat somewhere.
Got to have a lot of pussy cats.
Ah look!
There's pussy cats.
Look!
There's a pussy cat!
And Sammy.
Yeah.
And a guinea pig!
Oh God!
I thought that were quite nice.
Yeah.
Little baldy!
Eh eh eh ee!
Oh that's nice!
They'd taken off their ties
haven't they?
Yeah.
Honestly!
The butcher said to mum, now we feel ever so fed up!
Who's cuts your hair?
It is lovely?
A young butcher.
Oh yeah!
I said Mandy!
Thank you very much, ha!
I say!
Oh Derek!
That must of the Sunday Christmas is, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
He looks don't he, Mark?
Yeah.
And that was his American suit weren't it?
Yeah.
Er ay!
His too big trousers!
Ee ee ee!
You're trying to grab the bottle aren't you?
Yeah.
Blimey look at the size!
You can see, sort of
Yeah.
can't you?
Is that the colour he chose?
Yeah.
He looks, sort of ghastly don't he?
Yeah.
Ee ee ee eh!
Oh!
The open!
Hello daddy!
Hi!
That one must of been the day the boys come up from school
Yeah.
mustn't it?
Yeah.
Yes oh yeah, there's the bag there and all that.
Ooh yeah.
Ah that's nice, that one!
Reading the paper.
Yeah!
Aren't you?
We got you reading the paper!
Yeah, we have.
Ooh ooh!
That's when you talk to him and he looks up you see and he goes
Yeah.
Ahhh!
If he hadn't of picked his drink up that would of been good!
Yeah, that'd of been lovely!
Yeah.
Cos I let him play with it.
Kangaroo.
Kangaroo.
See he looks ghastly in there don't he?
Yeah!
Er er er er!
And you see Lyndsey just ready to jump up cos he pinched her bottom, Alan.
Weren't interested in Peter and me.
Yeah, tries to get out.
Oh that's pretty in n it?
I just did, it's ever so pretty today, it's really now.
I just used them up because I wanted to make the camera to have a new film in for dad.
Oh.
Cos the daffodils are coming all down here now,
Are they?
, so he cut it.
Don't chew it!
You don't wan na chew it!
Yeah, don't chew it!
It's not nice to chew!
Look at the pictures instead.
Look, a pussy cat!
Let's see what's on the next page.
Ooh bunny rabbit, look!
A doggy!
Seen the solicitor?
Yeah.
Woof woof!
Woof woof!
Where's
Er
the doggy then?
Woof woof!
Here are, do you wan na have a look?
Woof woof!
Daddy
Yeah.
quite busy then?
Woof woof!
You and Peter.
Is that nice?
Woof woof!
All down the front of her!
Did he?
Woof woof!
He tried.
What's that there?
So she was driving was she?
Yeah, she had a red she's got a red Sierra?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah seen her.
I told her!
There's a pussy cat!
And the pussy cat goes!! meow!
Meow!
What's a pussy cat do?
Mewow!
And look, this is the donkey!
And the donkey goes ee or, ee or, ee or, ee or!
I bet he thinks, silly old woman don't you?
Well, I suppose you.
Here's Sammy look!
Meow!
Meow!
And what's this?
Woof woof woof!
Woof woof woof!
It does.
Woof woof woof!
Like Toby does.
Woof!
Woof!
Ay?
Woof woof!
Ooh, I'd better go back to work hadn't I?
Where's this then?
America?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was the swimming pool at Clear Water.
Some upside down ones in here.
I didn't notice, just looked at them.
They were, they were all upside fir
And that
How much do I owe you Anne?
Eleven pound and sixteen
Oh bloody hell!
pence.
Sand in here!
That's everything?
Mm?
That's for the lemonade and that?
Oh no, I ain't thought about it?
Erm, one ninety nine plus vat, I think, yeah.
Leave it till I see you cos I I've left it in my coat pocket.
Five seven
Not bad!
Eleven pound
Big ones aren't they?
Yeah.
How much you want?
Do you want more money out for him?
I should get with daddy's cheque
Yeah.
I expect!
Cor!
Three, four, five, that's ten.
Actually that ten P is going in a pot.
Eleven pound they got ten
Ain't got no money on me!
Fifty P.
It's at work!
Can I owe you sixty P!
Oh terrible!
I shan't be able to go to work
this afternoon, now I know that!
Thank you.
Ooh!
Well I can give you loads of coppers?
Ooh ah!
Oh dear!
I told the butcher I wouldn't be going next week.
Yeah.
They said if you had over twenty five pounds worth of meat you know, money wise he would deliver it free.
Oh yeah.
That means you 'll have to pay yourself next week, I won't be here.
Ooh, I thought I'd got someone else to give me some money!
Do you know what they've got on next week or not?
has gone on the blink again!
Oh no!
And you can't just go and buy one can you?
Or get it delivered?
Oh, it's such a bloody fuss!
Do you know what
I told Co-op to stuff it!
And the electricity board come, no one come until next week!
I 'm having this afternoon if he'd have come here.
Yeah.
I used to feel it had.
Oh.
I daren't leave them that, dare I?
You lost your book!
pinched
You ain't got many
half of them!
Yeah, I did.
They're nice aren't they?
Yeah, it is nice.
Blub, blub blub!
Yeah.
Don't you?
Ay?
We were coming to see you last night, and then all day so he said it weren't fair to go anywhere like he was.
Mm.
He, you go down town..
Come on.
oi!
Well I feel uncomfortable so I don't
I think it was, she was want you going though!
Yeah, and talk to somebody can't you!
Yeah.
Can't you?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
?
No
Yeah!
It's at home.
Yeah!
Boo boo, boo boo boo!
Is lunch ready?
No, it's not!
No, you don't seem to go straight up about that, ain't I?
Oh, about my freezer?
Doo doo doo dee doo doo doo doo!
Doo doo doo!
Doo doo doo doo doo doo boo boo bee!
Do you like that?
Ay?
They're lovely!
Wedding bells to do this one.
How's the, how's the decorating?
Still going?
Oh yeah, it's finished!
Ooh that's lovely!
It's all been done.
So when you moving?
You're not ready for Tim to do your other big ceiling are you?
No, I think Mel
No, I 'm gon na do it.
He's gon na do it.
that's alright then.
Erm
And I found out I can artex alright now, so I 'm gon na do it.
I do, well I don't blame you!
Any
Just do the
any you do yourself
get.
is better in n it?
Yeah.
Nope, finished?
We 'll probably go, if he comes from the station, I will come round.
Bye bye darling!
Say, see you!
Thanks for the book!
We're gon na go and see about, see if Currys have got the thing in.
Oh.
Got ta send him and Tim down to fetch it.
And they 'll have my old one in and give me the extra bread for it.
What?
Did you wan na come with me?
Get your kit then!
Get your coat!
Get your coat!
Yeah!
Bet you're a good boy aren't you?
Do you want your coat on?
Go on!
It's here.
. Nan's gone to dinner with a parson today, for a bowl of soup and dry bread roll!
Hooray!
At nan 's!
At nan 's, yeah.
Very nice!
And they had a lovely dinner yesterday, roast lamb, she said yesterday!
Ooh, and trifle for dessert!
Mm.
And Robert sees her now, and he waves to her.
Oh does he?
Yeah.
Yeah cos she thought he were quite shy, but she said now he acknowledges her and that so she's quite pleased.
Yep, oh yeah!
And he he's always the first one that 'll eat up his dinner and got his hand up ready for seconds!
Oh right, yeah!
So bye bye now!
Bye bye!
Bye bye!
Mummy's gon na leave you!
Mummy's gon na leave you!
Yeah!
She's not is she!
She won't do that!
Oh Mickey's here.
Okay?
Ahhh!
When I saw it, I thought that were horrible!
feet ain't it?
Mm, they're alright.
So.
They're not black, black are they?
No,
No.
they 're, sort of
They're better.
Mine were great big bla, black ones!
Not like those type.
Yeah, we had those.
Sixty P a pound!
Really!
How much?
Was it?
Sixty no, sorry, sixty nine P a pound!
God that's cheap!
Was that in Higham
In Higham yeah.
That's quite a nice little fruit shop in n it?
Yeah.
Next to Robin's
Not bad.
I liked that way you'd had your car, I tell him he done you down!
Get it from Robin did you?
Yeah.
That bloke probably took it for a ride he said.
No he ain't!
It's alright.
Well Melvin did some work for them.
, that's twenty.
Sorry!
Shaun used to work with him.
Yeah I know, yeah.
on the lorries, didn't they?
It's worth it.
He was going to work for fifteen hundred weren't he?
Wouldn't pay that for him.
You see, now he does work for them, so I mean, if he ripped him off, yeah, he can get with that, yeah.
type of thing, just now.
Ohhh!
So you see your sister-in-law over there then?
No.
Oh yeah!
She didn't say hello!
But John said, when she's stupid enough to be trying to sell that house and who'd buy that thing, stuck up the end of that road?
Not many people would!
Well then, when they went there it were, it were grass fields all round them, weren't it?
Out the back
Oh yeah.
and round her.
And John said to her, and that's what were happening, they were building.
No they're not!
They said, not they're not!
We're gon na have green fields around us!
Well I knew they were building there years ago!
And by time they be bought signed the contract and moved in, they was out to plotting the garden weren't they?
You could but you can't tell them can you, anything no?
They knows it all!
They 'll find it harder to sell.
They 'll find it hard to sell they will.
Well in any case they're gon na lose money on it, cos they won't get
Cor yeah!
sixty nine, nine seven five on it, what they give for it will they?
Is that what they give for it, sixty nine thou?
sixty nine thousand!
What!
I wouldn't pay that!
Not up there!
I'd move to nicer areas
for that!
I bet you there is!
This house is bigger than theirs!
Is it?
Ain't you ever been in it?
No!
It's horrible!
Mm.
Cos you, where your lounge is you got a window and it's up
up there.
it's up there!
And it's the same, about
Definitely don't like that!
that depth, and it's along there.
That's all the like the window you got in one area.
And the, and then the next door, Close, is a, a detached house.
So yo, yo, you got no light much in it.
And tha, that's sort of, it's a,
Yeah.
window sill on there, say, and then this comes down and they got French windows at the bottom.
And the kitchen, you ain't got a kitchen door, to get from out your kitchen, to outside!
Have you?
No.
How do you go outside?
You got ta come through your carpet way and through your French windows or out your front door, ain't you?
Yeah.
You haven't got a
How
back door!
haven't they?
No!
No!
They ain't, have they?
I've never see, the back door.
No.
Wouldn't work!
No back door.
I would imagine i, i, if they went to look at it for fire and, or anything like that you'd be in the wrong cos you couldn't get out the kitchen.
Yeah, go out the back door.
You think about it, it's never, I mean we had to have a special fire door put on cos our we go through to our garage.
Yeah.
Special fire door and a special seal round it.
You need a door to get out the back, don't you ay?
Don't wan na use the French doors!
can you?
I know.
Don't wan na use the French doors all the time wouldn't you?
No.
They do!
Assuming it's cold.
Well in tha, in any case as well i it's if you've got any rubbish to take outside
Yeah!
you got ta
Yeah.
take it through your house don't you?
Yeah.
You know, your kitchen waste?
Yeah.
Bugger that!
Well the.
No, this house is bigger than theirs!
Lot bigger.
And we ain't got no room.
No!
The only thing they've got is a
Oh well it makes this house tidy and junky!
Yeah.
The only thing they've got
Beg your pardon!
No!
No, but once you get yourselves decorating and you've put your things out anyway
That's it.
you're gon na be so much better ain't you?
Yeah.
I mean, you've got so much
Yeah but, we decided
stuff.
we decided we got ta get a u, u, u, er a bedroom units A one.
Mm.
So we 'll, we 'll survive with what we've got we 'll get bedroom units a little later on.
Probably get one for the little room, probably get er
I think you got ta put
I du n no.
cupboards up there once they're painted.
Get one down here as well.
That's it.
Once they're painted your cupboards will be able to put stuff in them and that won't they?
Oh yeah.
You know, you can organise them.
Yeah.
Well we're taking the cupboard in our room I think we're probably taking that out.
Gon na take it out because then we can move the bed over to that wall.
Yeah.
So we can arrange the furniture decently in the room.
Maybe have to get a fitted fitted unit down the side.
Fitted one.
Yeah.
That's what we want.
Bye darling!
Bet he thinks
See you Ann!
Yeah.
Bye, see you
Bye!
Ann!
Thanks a lot!
Don't let me forget that you know
Yeah.
before I go.
Ta ta!
.
Yeah.
Ta ta!
Bye!
How are you alright?
Yeah fine,.
Ay!
Hey hey!
Ah!
Ah!
What's the matter with you?
Ah!
Eh!
Er ah ah!
You're a good lad ain't you mate?
Annie's been spoiling you again has she?
Ay?
Annie been spoiling you? at work.
Eh!
Er
two to three litres.
Yeah.
Got a can ain't we?
More like that.
Did she?
You can tell.
in between weren't it?
The big units
Oh so what time are they due, about two?
Yeah it fell down the side there.
I 'm sorry! tried that!
No!
It's only water!
I knew something was gon na happen.
You, stop laughing!
You may laugh!
What?
Black one.
No, I haven't seen one.
Ah!
Ah Ahhh!
Ahhh!
He's tired.
He's tired.
.
Ian know he owes that or what?
.
I 'm go, I 'm gon na be.
Oh yeah!
Anne saying I 'm tidy, ha!
You can
Yeah, and you didn't want me to do it.
Yeah, it was.
.
Ah!
Yeah but that's the sort of thing my mother would come out with!
And mean it!
Oh she'd mean it, yeah!
Come on buddy, lets take you up the path ay?
Ay?
Come on then.
Going for a little walkies!
Come on then!
Go for a walkies!
Wrote a letter to er Presentation Media.
Yeah, yeah you told me.
Told them.
Yeah, you told me yeah.
And I had come round!
That old!
Yeah.
Turn round and sold the.
You did.
What?
Ohhh, I was stupid I was!
What was he saying then?
He, he come in about that quote for nine for remember Mr
Yeah.
the brake tip job?
Yeah.
Erm he come in about that so we wrote a letter saying that I won't do the job for ninety pound, but I 'll stick to the original
He can have.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah.
Two hundred and thirty quid.
Yeah.
And er so he comes round and he says er why won't you do it for ninety quid?
I said, so I've seen the job and I says er and I don't think it's worth doing for ninety quid.
I 'll do it for a hundred and thirty quid no more!
If you don't like it, fuck off!
Yeah.
I were fuming I was!
I 'm standing there the silly bloke, he stood near where the gas equipment was and I was standing there both hands clenched ready for him to start saying something!
Yeah.
I was, cos I was gon na have him!
I was!
He were a right wanker!
Cor you!
And er, he turned round er he was very polite I must admit kept his cool and
Well cos had to be didn't he?
Yeah.
Bigger than me!
Yeah.
Big bloke!
Yeah.
He was very big bloke!
That wouldn't of worried you!
Oh no way!
So anyway erm he turned round and said er well quote like that and you're legally bind to do it.
I says, no I 'm not!
Cos I ain't signed anything!
No!
He says this is a binding contract.
I says no it ain't I says I ain't signed anything!
He says, that was done over the phone!
I said
Yeah.
to you on the phone that I had not seen the job and that I said yes alright knowing I hadn't seen the job, also that you knew that I hadn't seen it and if I didn't agree with it, then I was gon na change it, and I've changed it!
Yeah.
Then he started on he started tutting, the old, I jus sa I just carried on working, I just slammed the Citreon on cranked that up and er he started going on about oh this is the price and everything.
I just turned round and says mine was the cheapest price anyway!
I noticed the other quote was over two hundred flaming quid, and you've knocked me down!
I said fuck off out of here!
Yeah.
It's quite good that that chap had actually showed you the right quote weren't it?
Yeah, cos yeah.
Yeah.
And that, anyway, he then says er er er er he said, he said something like I weren't really listening.
Yeah.
I says I 'll Gods our original er our authorisation.
I says, yeah, and I couldn't find it could it?
I says oh, it must be at home!
Anyway er I said he says, well can you post it to us?
I said, yeah alright I 'll post it to you.
So he wanted it back.
Yeah.
So er gets into work today no, yesterday afternoon and he says, have you found it?
I says, yeah, I've found it.
He says er well I 'll come along and pick it up.
I says, yeah, that's fine!
So he came along this morning and picked it up!
Banged on the door.
I could see who it was through the plastic bit.
Open up the door and he said hello I went Werh er er!
And he says er what do you say, he said er that's good in n it having a big knocker there?
He says er anybody or anything he says er you can't let them in can you, well they won't, they can't come in can they?
I didn't answer him!
I found the letter and he went.
Yeah.
And that's it.
So what's he gon na do about that then?
Well he can't do a thing about it!
I know.
He knows he can't!
He's got the car!
You know perhaps he could of on.
That's insurance company.
Well they're such pigs aren't they!
Ahhh!
Yeah, well tha, they've dropped themselves right in it now!
They have!
In actual fact, what you wan na do now is to er perhaps have a little er letter writing to Avon.
Yeah.
Tell them what you think of them.
And er let them yeah let
Yeah do.
them know what sort of, how have behaved.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I do it?
So complete with threats!
And er just tell them that er the way they've behaved, that you thought the way to
I mean though in n it?
Well
You thought the way they behaved was er despicable!
Well, it's the way he spoke on the phone in the first place!
Yeah.
Er when he wanted to knock it down.
Yeah.
You know, I was only been working there a week, well two weeks!
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah but you must complain to Avon though!
Cos Avon's a big insurance company.
And I've done
I know, I've had
I've done lots of work for them in the last couple
And I've done work for them
of years.
already!
Yep.
Separate from Quadling
Yeah yeah.
That's right.
Now, and he come their assessor
Yeah.
looked at the car, and said do it!
Yeah.
Well
No hassle whatsoever!
That's right, yeah.
Right, well if give me their address, then we can get a letter.
Yeah you've got address.
Yeah, it's at at er
That's it,
Wentworth.
Wentworth.
Oh right.
Yeah.
Oh well, you know you can draft a letter up
Oh I will!
Yeah, just say that you were very
She 'll love me!
disappointed with the way their agents, i.e. Quadling er have been behaving!
Dealing, yeah.
And er er also mention the fact that er er you know for a fact or, or, you know that er the other quotes that er put in a bill, put in a bill for a er about a hundred pound more than what I did, or whatever, whatever
Mm.
it was!
And er they 'll know this and er
Oh yeah!
then, then just tell them the facts you know?
Yeah.
And also mention that er this bloke came round and issued a offered er int, er intimidation and threats!
Legal threats as well!
Yeah, and some days you need to.
Yeah.
And er you know put it down in writing because that way Avon will then se see and the, hang on!
What's Quadling playing at here!
We're not having that!
Yeah.
We're not having this!
Yeah.
And also state that over the years er your father used to run the business done hundreds of jobs for Avon Insurance at, and er also you yourself have done jobs for Avon Insurance before who have never ever had any trouble whatever so ever!
Like er you know, with any of the work we've done
No.
er it's always been er guaranteed i.e. if a customer was not satisfied, then one hundred percent we will rectify whatever it is they're not satisfied with.
Mm.
We always maintain that our word is our bond all of our work.
And then to be treated er as out and out er criminals, like this Quadling had done with us is just beyond all bounds of having reasonable
Mm.
business sense!
Yeah.
But wha but when he'd said, turned round and said, oh it's a legal contract!
I'd tell him
It's not!
to fuck off!
Not over the phone.
Spoken as in but it's you know
You've got ta sign something.
I know.
But that's intimidation that is, threats
That's right.
at you.
Okay, yes I agreed for the er the price but I said that I haven't seen the work.
I hadn't seen
Okay.
the job.
I 've, I've quoted for the job.
That's right.
I says okay I 'll agree to it but I wan na se, I haven't seen it, so how do I know?
Yeah.
You know that's what I said to him on the phone!
Oh we 'll remember that!
By the way, I've told you I got charged er fifteen pounds did I?
Oh I told you Mel, did I?
Yeah.
And ten pounds from the bank!
Cos I was twenty five pence overdrawn!
So I wrote a stinking letter to them!
A one of the one of the sentences,, how dare you authorise the withdrawal of fifteen pounds from account without prior notification!
Or at least having the decency and good manners to at least let me know what you'd done!
Yeah!
And er, anyway I got this terrific letter back!
You should, well granddad was there about half an hour reading it!
It was er one foolscap plus of, of words you know, explaining what, what they'd done and all this and why they'd done it!
They credited you?
And yeah, they've gone and re-credited me for the fifteen pound!
Yeah!
Yeah.
Great!
Bit over the top in n it?
Fifteen quid for twenty five pence!
Well then, no, what it is they've charged for each
Yeah.
cheque that you
Yeah.
you do about a quarter.
I wouldn't of minded, like I said to the bloke er if he, if I'd been er a hundred pounds overdrawn or fifty quid overdrawn or something like that, I wouldn't of minded so much because I knew
Yeah.
that I would be overdrawn.
Mm.
And I'd know that I'd incurred that expense.
But er but a mere twenty pe pence!
I thought, it's an insult my flipping intelligence!
Yeah.
That's right.
But it was, you know.
Well anyway I got this lovely letter back!
Oh well!
So letter and er and evening compiling it has er gained me my fifteen pound back!
Yeah.
No it doesn't hurt to write a few letters.
Old bloke came round today.
Oh David!
Yes.
Cor he did half stink of booze!
Oh it's
Yeah, apparently he had a row with his Mrs ex-Mrs wife.
Yeah.
He had a row with his new wife.
So why did he come round and see you?
Du n no.
Start again on booze!
Bought a Volvo, T reg forty quid!
Did he?
Well if, if he's got an M O T on it he 'll be able to run it until the M O T
runs out November.
runs out.
Oh well he can run until then, then and just take it out to and leave it there.
He's done it up.
Has he?
He's doing it up.
Yeah.
And what are they doing about it, nothing!
I reckon it ought to be compulsory that.
Like a car needs to go in for the M O T, you've got ta
Mm, you've got ta have your eyes tested.
for your eyes.
Yeah.
In Germany you have to carry, if you wear glasses, you have to carry a spare pair of glasses with you!
Yeah.
I had to do this in Adelaide you know, when I went for my D S V license.
I had loads of dots in front of me you know, in this machine
Colour blind.
and er yeah, I had to er tell them what numbers were what er letters
Mm.
numbers rather were coming, coming up, you know?
And I just ran through them, you know, it was no problem to me.
But I can image yo, yo, you can stand
You'd fail.
doing it.
So and er ooh I had they did er this old butterfly thing as well, the old psychology bit as well, you know.
What does that look like?
You know!
A blob of ink squashed together what else!
You know?
Yeah.
And er how old?
That was the first time I had to cough for anybody that was, as well.
.
I didn't particularly like that idea.
Just testing for a hernia, I told I hadn't got one!
Yeah.
Ha!
It's like that er truck driver that came into your place when er you and er that bloke that used to there.
And a he came in there and er for his glasses and er old was having a headache actually everything
Oh yeah.
and he, he was a er said he was nearly enough, near enough blind!
Mm!
And here he is driving trucks around the countryside!
Did he?
Yeah.
And he persisted as well!
Yeah, he didn't need glasses for driving!
You know er!
The old, old ones are the worst, I tell you!
Yeah.
Well anybody over forty years old it ought to be, it ought to be compulsory!
Mm.
Yeah.
It's like, I remember nan don't need glasses!
Yeah.
She should be wearing glasses.
Yeah.
Well what, I 'll never forget this chap do up on Avenue Road he were like that!
He'd been driving for sixty years, you've never had an accident.
Yeah, I mean, his vision was absolutely appalling!
Yeah.
I said, well you shouldn't be driving!
Yeah.
See even with glasses on!
Yeah.
No, my driving's alright ma!
But he can't hear nothing about!
No, he can't actually no!
Except get the cops in.
It's a privilege.
I 'll always maintain that people with glasses know they've got something wrong with their eyes so the chances are if they're wearing glasses then they can see properly!
Yeah.
It's the guy that hasn't got glasses, that's the guy you've got ta worry about.
Yeah.
That's right.
What's the time?
Any idea?
Five to nine.
Oh right.
Red Dwarf on in a minute.
Yeah.
Mhm.
Ooh!
Excuse me!
Ah ah!
That wasn't now.
Fucking!
.
He's ain't he?
Don't take it seriously?
You can bet your bottom dollar some teams would go bananas on that!
Yeah.
Not half!
For the
Old ain't it?
It's is it?
Hey!
Watch this!
Standards wha, we used to have Standards.
Oh yeah!
Mhm.
That's not bad!
Yeah.
Oh that's nice isn't it?
.
Ha!
Oh a Humber
A Humber
Oh yeah!
That's like a Porsche.
Oh look at the old indicators!
. Moggy Minor did that to me!
Yeah
Got a little pink
aren't they?
Yeah.
Must be one of the first ones out.
Mm.
So didn't have no indicators on its side, just one of the things popped up!
Don't you remember, oh no you don't.
No, I don't
I was sort of driving along, what?
Damn thing's slowing down!
I was looking for this blooming half thing sticking out!
Ha!
They stopped them about nineteen fifty nine, something like that.
He's driving around without his glasses on!
Why isn't he tested?
Fancy having a car for that many years!
Yeah.
He will though, he 'll get more now than what he's paid for it!
Yeah.
Japanese cars, you can stick them!
Cheap cars expensive to repair!
They are yeah!
Well I 'm pleased with my Citreon.
Yeah?
The only thing I don't like about it is the fact that it's not a a three litre engine.
Oh!
But er it does everything I want it to.
Can't wait to get that Sierra!
Yeah, you've done well with that.
Yeah.
Ay?
Yeah, I think he's getting a bit attached to it.
You sure.
I watched that once.
Mind you, it's only five minutes though in n it?
Ha?
We watched it once didn't we?
It was on before and I didn't find it very funny at all!
No.
Got that black
Yeah.
I just never watched it.
No, it's not worth watching!
was it, didn't we?
The first one weren't
Yeah.
it?
Yes.
Load of rubbish it were!
Yeah.
Watched it for about ten minutes never laughed once!
But half of it you couldn't understand could you?
Cos they were going off in their like their lingo
Yeah.
and he talks like that and sh what the hell are they saying!
Watched for about ten minutes and turn it over!
Stuff this!
Yeah.
Yeah, it's erm black boy.
Oh!
You alright muncher?
Yeah.
Nice it was.
Always liked food Actually it's not very nice!
I gave him a pizza and then he.
Didn't you?
Still eat it!
Don't you?
You alright?
Yeah I 'm alright..
No, I guess not.
No.
Yeah, he was upside down this morning!
Weren't he? the wrong way round in his cot this morning!
Was he?
Yeah.
Du n no how he does it.
Sleeps on his front now and sleeps all along all ways!
Yeah.
He does.
That Rimmer character's changed a bit.
What one?
The one with a H on his head.
He's a hologram.
Oh!
If he's a hologram machine he shouldn't need to eat.
If he's a hologram he shouldn't need to eat things.
Where are they then?
Where's Fun in the Sun?
Today?
Du n no.
Er ah excuse me!
.
Oh I've got a right pair here!
I really have!
Things like that they ought to put you in a room together, you'd be fine wouldn't you!
Yeah.
Oh!
Ha!
Da da da da da da da da.
Bash!
Bash!
Bash!
Oh I didn't get up to him.
No.
Not with the bashing.
Have you looked at him this morning?
No.
No.
Well he, stayed like that.
Head on the head on the mattress and duvet over him!
Yeah?
Mm.
He takes it with him now, so it's probably good idea actually, take the blanket off.
Yeah.
Just carry the duvet with him it's a good idea!
Warmer now in n it?
Yeah.
He was warm before, probably a bit too warm.
Yeah.
Shall we go upstairs?
Mhm.
How long's it been since you went to Sainsbury 's?
Couple of weeks.
Get it on did we?
That thing's an old one.
Still
Sixty pound?
Yeah.
Go away!
Erm
Give me the tin.
That can be last.
Same day as the hoover weren't it?
Yeah.
Twenty ninth of er February.
Oh!
Oh, that's nearly a month!
Get them.
Isn't it?
How much was it then?
Twenty nine ninety five.
It was ninety pounds wasn't it, in Sainsbury 's?
We got the hoover on the twenty ninth of last month?
Yeah.
Is that awful?
That one 's.
You look it's got his dungarees on here and a little girl's wearing them!
!
There!
Oh yeah!
Oh, for a boy or a girl.
Oh you're not stupid!
You ought to go in and have a look, you know, cos like love that!
Lovely!
Really is!
Really reasonable prices!
The only time I can go is a Saturday afternoon, but I 'm busy this Saturday afternoon.
Yeah.
They got some little shorts, I think I 'm gon na get him some.
There's a pair of navy, and a navy striped shorts.
Yeah.
I thought well they'd do for him for summer.
Yeah, would do.
Yeah, so got ta do like ju just shorts and a T-shirt to match, and a short and top.
Yeah.
About six quid I think.
No.
About six quid?
For a T-shirt and shorts.
Oh, oh that's not bad.
Yeah.
Three quid a piece.
Yeah.
Even so, my bloody shorts are cheaper than that!
Well yeah, I know.
Five bloody bucks mine were!
Australia, when you look at clothes!
I mean, that sweatshirt I bought, how much would that be?
Worked out about two fifty?
Yeah.
It was four dollars ninety nine wasn't it?
That's right yeah.
Damn sight cheaper over there live!
Like yesterday, I bought that fruit bought the bread that was fiver!
That's where my money goes!
I know.
Yeah well, I think it
goes.
Yeah, oh yeah!
Mind you, I did buy a fair bit of vegetables.
Yeah, that's nothing!
go.
If we have vegetables every day, how long would that last?
Oh that's a week, and that's it!
Ridiculous!
That's why we gon na ha, have to buy our own no, grow our own.
Grow our own.
Help us out just a wee bit.
You can freeze it and all.
Buy stuff that we can freeze.
You can freeze most vegetables.
Can you freeze cauli 's?
Yeah.
Oh, them cauli's were brilliant, those were!
Yeah and they used to blanch them first.
Most vegetables you have to blanch first.
How do you blanch them?
Just put them in boiling water for about thirty seconds.
Yeah?
Yeah, so it's no problem.
That garden's gon na be mostly vegetables.
I tell you!
Yeah, I three pound ten pence or something in the vegetable shop that was er two pound forty for a cauli cabbage and er carrots.
That's all I bought weren't it?
That's two pound forty!
That's a lot of money!
Yeah.
Yeah, a cauli was about sixty P!
A cauliflower.
I know it's a big one.
It's not fair!
Really.
It's a big one.
Fifty eight, I think it were.
The cabbage was about the same er, about fifty I think.
The carrots a couple of pound there, they were expensive!
About a quid I think they cost!
That was expensive!
Yeah well they're bigger carrots.
Must be a couple of pound for them.
Mm.
Look at the size of these!
Aha!
Well!
I can't out, out the money out of T S B..
For when?
Today.
On what?
Toilet rolls.
Getting tha, bit bad are we?
There's none left!
Got one upstairs.
Yeah.
But I need to make three pound, cos I owe Anne a bit of money don't I?
How much do you owe her?
The lemonade er pay the milk man.
I 'll tell him to come back next week.
Tell him to come back next week.
So why can't I have the money?
Mm?
You can take it out of my wages!
Cos I don't want to go into the T S B!
Why?
Well, I 'm trying to clear it!
Yeah well I 'll give you th, you can take the money out of the money you're gon na give me next week.
If you're gon na give me any money are you?
Don't know!
And you can do it tha, when I get my family allowance, you can have that!
My dole cheque as well!
Alright!
Alright, you had your moan at me last time Melvin the pure fact that I hadn't put the money in
Yeah, I know!
to help!
I know!
Otherwise I'd have some money now, wouldn't I?
Gave you fifty quid!
I know, that's for Peter!
Wasn't it?
Ha!
Thank you!
Should of, I know I should of done!
You did some of it.
Yeah I know!
But I shouldn't done!
I know!
If you'd of left that fiver here, you would of had enough money for the milk!
Yeah, but I wouldn't of had enough money for Anne!
Oh ha!
Would I?
No.
So how much did you spend Saturday night?
I du n no!
You spent ten pound on your home brew.
Yeah.
We owe you money for Sa, Saturday night, that's alright.
Yeah, that was out of the cash money I had!
Yeah, so
Thirty for cash money,
I had to
extra cash money!
I had fifty quid!
Yeah, twenty quid, and what was that for, for bloody wallpaper!
Not all of it!
Most of it!
Stop arguing will you!
Well, it's the way you, don't want me to have any money!
Moan, moan, moan!
Well you can have the money when you want, I can't!
I don't have money every time I want it!
All my bloody money!
You everybody else!
Where do you think my money goes?
You spend the lot on yourself!
Like what?
Like Saturday, you were out boozing!
That's alright!
Piss that up the wall!
You can spend as much as you like to do that!
Go out once in a while do I?
It's still the same Melvin!
I see you alright, you know that!
Alright, you can have fucking newspaper to wipe your arse with!
You can!
I wouldn't mind if I went out and spent it on myself, but I didn't!
I don't spend everything single thing on myself!
I 'm not saying you do, but I haven't spent a penny on myself!
It's all fo food or Peter or the house or something else!
How do you think I feel when I bring home three hundred a twenty quid a week, and all of it goes on fucking bills!
But it doesn't all go on bills though does it?
Most of it does!
Well
You know that!
You took the responsibility on.
Yes I know I've got the responsibility, but I 'm not moaning about it!
Aha!
Not many!
Yeah, I don't when we have to pay fifty pound a month poll tax!
Got a fifty odd pound electric bill!
What do you mean, you sit there and that's all I get for about two hours is a load of bloody shit that you go work, you do this to spend it all on bills!
Got ta pay it!
Oh shi, oh well just go and then you won't have to pay, you wouldn't have the bloody worry of it would you?
If I could go to bloody work, I would!
Anyway, you know where the card is!
I don't know where the card is!
Nor do I!
It's up there then.
No, I 'm not gon na go and get any money!
Wouldn't dare!
It's not up there!
It's not!
No, looks like it's missing.
It's your fault!
Why is it my fault?
You were the last to have it!
Oh dear!
You did!
Come on, just get something out!
Get something out!
I 'll take you back home again
Thank you.
if you don't behave!
Here's one, here you are, look, you play with these.
Here are Ben!
Oh you like them!
Ben!
You can have one.
oi!
Don't be a pain in the neck,!
That urgh!
You're not having, you're not having this out Ben!
Go and play with something there.
makes me laugh is, that you get all these toys for children, sort of, nought to three months
and erm, I mean his cousins, what are they, five and six?
And they 'll sit and they 'll play for hours with them!
And they're kids toys!
Come on then!
Sho, show her that bed show her your bedroom ay?
Come here!
You going.
No.
Oh you got one, I had one of those, exactly the same!
What the doll?
Yeah!
I broke it, and John had it for years and years.
Well I got it, I just bought it back when we went to Russia.
I du n no where my came from!
I know a relative.
Yeah, got it from Russia though.
I told them that the rain comes in and everything!
So they
Shut up!
They come and planed some more off!
And now there's su, there's such a gap a blooming draft comes in
Hello!
and!
I had to throw throw a bucket of water at the door to show them.
Yeah.
I stood there with a mop at the side, and he sort of looked at me and all the water the came in!
I said there you are, you see!
Oh I don't mind, yeah but.
On ours, we got plastic there I just got
Yeyyyy!
Can't
Mummy!
Mummy!
Ah!
Don't put them down.
Yeah.
So the painting outside,.
You know, it's all too much!
Down there down.
And all round there, there!
Wants it!
Wants it!
Terrible!.
Mm no doubt we 'll see!
Yeah, there's lots which is up there.
And then.
Very hard work isn't it?
This could be is it, Meals on Wheels?
All you got ta do is turn the oven on to heat the meals up.
Have you heard of that?
All clean!
They've been trying to get him out for years and years!
Honestly!
And then he got so bad, that he had to go in for.
Yeah.
Do you take sugar?
It is a mixture really!
No thank you.
I don't know why they don't clear out all the very old ones and then put some people in there!
They've tried!
They try and prolong this for ages!
There 's.
there's a woman down there she's got a, this two bedroom place her son's gone to Canada.
He only found out he had few months to live!
Two months later he died!
He was riddled with it!
He went
